Fed up with this life

[Barb]

Sometimes i think i cant cope with this life any more. Had my first good week the week before last for nearly a year.( i thought getting somewhere at last) then it all come back again. Yesterday i had an awful panic attack all the family were here and i got very agitated ( I cant bear anyone seeing me bad) and Ifelt smothered. O f course then i couldnt stop crying and made myself really bad. I got mixed reactions from all my family (either the gods sake calm down or ignoring me) all except for my daughter Nic who is always there for me and worries about me. Then this morning i woke up in panic AGAIN felt so ill did everything to control it ( rescue remedy, tranquilliser, my breathing, some tft) but nothing worked just cried and cried chronic tiredness and that awful feeling i get that i am drifting away like i will die. Course i panicked like mad to scared to get out of bed. My son had stayed over with his girlfriend and my little grandaughter whos 2, she come in while i was panicking and i got them awful thoughts it was awful. Well i finally managed to calm down a bit and get down the stairs with a terrible giddy crazy head and then my Nic arrived thank God. She is a reiki master teacher and i got my ill self on to the table and had a reiki session which has finally settled me ( still very tired) to be expected a nightmare weekend all in all. Well i am sure i have bored you to tears now but i needed to write it all down. I just dont see an end to this hell life. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

Barb XXXX

[psycho2000]

Hi Barb,

Writing stuff is very good...some people say its therapeutic. That's why I tend to write a lot myself lol. Hmm...for you, what does a Panic Attack involve? What I'm trying to is make you write slowly and in detail about the feelings you go through and then hopefully make you realise it's all preventable and all of that is in no way dangerous or serious at all. Maybe when you come to terms with this, then you will start to train your mind and body to come to normal quicker and quicker each time, until eventually, it stops completely. I'm talking about the PA. Anxiety is a bit more difficult.

Take care, hope to hear from you soon as ure online.
If u wanna chat, I'm in the old chat room.

Sam.

One day, one day I will beat u and that day, I will be free again, as I was before...

[seh1980]

hi Barb,

Sorry to hear about your horrible weekend. You say that you had one really good week. Try to think back and ask yourself what it was that you did to make it such a good week..

Sarah

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[carlin]

Hi Barb,
so sorry you feel so awful right now, i so fully understand, you claw your way back up and wham!, back to the bottom again, i've been like this many times, and used to think what's the point? you said you had a good week, that sort of shows that it is anxiety 'cos if it was anything more serious, it wouldn't go away. having the family round is very stressful, (i know enjoyable also), i had the same today, gosh how hard is it. having a panic attack in front of people is very difficult, you tend to think of what they are thinking, rather than what you should be doing. you came through barb. as we always do..no consolation, i know, but thinks will get better, it is a long hard struggle, but it can be done, i am so glad you have been able to settle a little, write this week-end off as a bad 'un, and start again tommorow. you did cope mate take care and keep in touch xxxxxx

[sal]

Hi Barb

Sorry to hear after a good spell you havent being feeling too good. It is horrible when that happens as we question the way we have moved forward and doubt we will get through this next blip we have to cope with.

You will hun and we are all here to help you. Dont forget how well you have done and i am the biggest offender of forgetting what i have achieved when i hit a hard time, but it does help to look back at how well you have done and remember you will get there again.

Take care and here if you need to talk.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[pips]

Hi Barb,

Sorry your feeling so bad hun, I do hope your feeling better today.

I understand it feels so horrid at times you will get better again though just take time and small steps.

Take it easy,

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

[Meg]

Barb,

You have made distinct progress in order to have a blip ..Keep hold of that.

Remember that if you do feel overwhelmed you can ask for space and time alone so this doesn't build up.

You are not going mad and what thoughts do you have that are so terrible. This is probably where the crucial bit lies


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Untamedstar]

Hope your ok today ? I know when i was really bad there seemed no end to it, and i very often felt like wanting to rest for ever so to speak. It can be exhausting, it is exhausting! The only thing that kept me going was the rare good days(not weeks) i had.

Then eventually those days turned into a week, and so on... then naturally when you start to relax of course something comes up to bite you on the ass! [Sigh...]Very often because i had something niggling in the back of my mind, usually when i hadnt done or said something i should.


While using meditation to work through these moments i came to realise that these bad days were important for me to enjoy my good days! I dont know if that makes sense?

It can be very frustrating when those close to you seem fed up with our 'chaos', and we really dont feel like bothering them..... but this is an illness that needs support and recognition just as any other.

However as much support as we need, there is only one person who can help and thats ourself...one way or another we need to find our own way of being content with .. the person we call ...me.

Right i have certainly waffled on for far too long ! I do hope you dont have too many bad days, and i hope your good days take over![)]


with love from another .x.







Untamedstar.x.

[Barb]

Thanks everyone, I feel much better today (although it wasnt too good at first) got out of the house as well ignored the jelly legs.

Meg i only get funny thought when i have extreme panic and the thoughts are that I would harm someone (silly I know) but very scarey.

Barb xx

[Meg]

Barb,

No, its not silly - many many people get this fear too. You are not alone.

Thoughts not instructions .. You will not act on this if it scares you ..

Well done for today .. mostly for the ignoring the legs that got you out there .


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...