Hi everyone,
My name is connie, im 23 years old and i live in london. I started having panic attacks around 8 months ago and they took over my life completly!!! I was working as a nanny and studying to be a midwife but had to quit because i was in such a mess i couldn't even leave the house @ one point even getting out of bed to go and sit in the living room was an achievement! It was a horriable time for me and i really feel for anyone in that situation right now, i was in constant fear and would feel anxious from the second i woke up untill the second i went to sleep, i honesly felt like i wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, that was when i realised i could mope around feeling sorry for myself all day everyday or i could do something about it, i got to the point i was so fed up with panic attacks i was willing to try anything to make myself better, i thought what have i got to lose... i started by having a bath with lavender oil in it (calms u down apparenty) put my favourite songs on and lay there untill the water got cold lol, i made myself think of the person i used to be, the fun i used to have and forced myself to realise that this anxiety came out of nowhere but it could easily go again and i could be me! Its all about positive thinking, the only reason i was having so many panic attacks everyday was because i was worried i was gonna have another panic attack, if i didnt think about it it wouldnt happen... i thought alot that day and since then i have felt so much better, it was a gradual thing for me @ first i would wake up feeling normal and that would last untill i thought about having a panic attack, my family would often ask me how i felt and to be honest it didnt help me because then i thought do i feel ok?? i would then feel anxious... so i asked everyone to pretend that nothing was wrong with me, treat me like normal...
IF I DIDN'T WANT THIS ANXIETY, I HAD TO ACT LIKE I DIDNT HAVE THIS ANXIETY!
i had my worst panic attack while driving so i was scared of driving again, i started to make myself go out of the house but walked instead, i didnt want to put myself in the deep end at first it was all little steps for me, the first time i went out i felt like crap but i made myself carry on because i knew that when i got home i would feel proud of myself for going out and any positivity was a good thing! I got home later that day and realised that nothing bad happened to me and that was when i knew the next time i went out i would feel even better than i did the first time and i DID feel better, the anxiety passed and i actually enjoyed myself! Since then i have been meeting up with my friends going out for dinner etc, going shopping and the greatest achievement for me was going to the place i had my worst panic attack... I was perfectly fine and i smiled all the way home, im no longer scared of having a panic attack, nobody has ever died of one, its all about just understanding it, don' be scared of it, let it happen and let it pass because it will! Take a step back and try to relax, take slow deep breaths and think think about somthing else, count from 10 to 1 taking a deep breath on each number and breath out slowly, imagine yourself feeling more relaxed after each number and by number 1 you will feel fine! rather than thinking about the symptom that is bothering you think about your blinking for example, dont focus on the problem but the most important thing to do during a panic attack is not to fight it!
"nothin in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood"
this is the motto i have stuck by ever since!
I used to look at people and think why cant i be normal like them now i look at people and think i am normal like them. I feel so much better than i did even before i had this anxiety because i now appreciate feeling good again, i know how strong i am now! it took alot of effort but i promise it will be worth it in the end, just push yourself a little further each time, have the people that care about you around you, remember who u used to be, and tell yourself you WILL be even better than than the person you used to be!
My story is soooooo much longer than this but i feel i have written a bit too much for u guys to read! if u need any advice i would be more than happy to help my e mail address is constance_murphy@hotmail.com feel free to e mail or chat to me on msn! i would love to help someone like i feel i have helped myself! Thanks for reading this i really hope i have helped in some way, stay strong! If i can beat this anyone can, trust me!
connie xxx
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