hi all
had a bad night and felt really bad this morning so rand the docs and made a app for thursday.im only on betablockers and my body feels tired but minds on high alert all day.niece was in bed and i actually cried for the first time in years at the hopelessness of it all.So i went down to my mum and dads and told them how i feel and my sister was there 2 on holiday so told her.they were supportive and worried so dunno if i did right thing there or not .i was scared i was gonna hit the bottle as ive had a battle for 10 years with it but been sober since jan ,so i went to gym again lol.i used to feel great when i came out of gym but now its same old story nerves tight head mind racing ,feeling like its just not me ,but i made it home made lunch and now writing this.also scared about going to docs as dont like bothering him but its that or well i dunno.this anxiety makes u feel isolated a leper and like im living a pretend life to all who dont know me well.to all in gym im life and soul of party but inside im cracking up.so thats me today anyhow and thanx to all who take time and read this ...kev

k finnigan