Is this depression?

[Gareth]

Hi,

My "condition" seems to have moved on. I was suffering from constant high anxiety, the main problems being physical symptoms in my head and constant racing thoughts. I would wake up in the morning anxious and go to bed anxious, worrying that I had lost my mind. This has gone on for four months.

In the past couple of weeks this has changed into what I can only describe as a "constant low mood". I wake up feeling low, and feel low throughout the day, worse at some times. I kind of feel "emotionally exposed" - the pressure that I used to feel in my head, I now feel around my heart - it feels like a chronic sadness I suppose. It is definitely a "feeling" rather than a sensation. I feel emotionally raw, and for the first time since the start of all this I kind of feel like I could cry at any moment.

But I do not despair, I don't think the world is a terrible place, or that I am a terrible person, or that terrible things are going to happen to me. I am not especially pessimistic. I just have this "feeling" all the time. I still value my life very highly and desperately want to be happy. I have a good life and appreciate all the things I have and want to be able above all to enjoy them and connect with them.

I have been seeing a psychotherapist and we have been dragging up loads and loads of painful stuff from my childhood and I suppose it is only natural that I should feel "raw" as a result. I just don't know if the depression was the thing that was always the problem and the anxiety just kick-started it, or whether I should consider that the depression is just a natural step on in the recovery process.

Am I depressed? And if so - is this a normal part of recovering from anxiety? Should I feel positive about this step?

Any insights very welcome!

thanks,
Gareth

*** I think, therefore I'm anxious ***

[suzuki]

Gareth , none of us our real experts (only learn't from experience i suppose) The Depression sounds as though it has followed on from the Anxiety. It does feel as thoug your heart is aching.
P.S Can't stalk you because i can't travel that far YET ha hax Sue

[seh1980]

hi Gareth,

I had my first CBT appointment a while back and it was the first time in ages that I had talked about lots of the horrible things that happened in my childhood. To be honest, it was pretty much the first time that I had ever spoken about these things. For the next couple of days, I felt really low and down in the dumps. I guess this is a normal reaction. I'm sure you will pull out of it soon.

Sarah

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[samjane]

hi Gareth
i belive that its all part of the healing prosses, i have just started my CBT and have talked alot about my past and i have to say i felt very low for a time after this.

but i feel we have to take these steps to overcome our anxiety, stick with it and be the strong person that u know u can be.

Love & Light

Sam x

[Karen]

Hi Gareth

It is a natural reaction to feel low when suffering from anxiety and panic. However, I believe there is a difference between this and clinical depression. When clinically depressed people tend to feel despair all the time and often don't want to live. There also tends to be the belief that there is no future and suicidal thoughts often accompany clinical depression.

I suffer from depression myself and whereas most people with anxiety and panic seem to fear death and dying, I don't and to me living is worse.

As you continue to progress in recovering from the anxiety, these low feelings will also start to lift.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Meg]

Gareth,

I think this is you moving on and starting to recover and not depression and yes to see it as another good point would be very helpful.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?