Hey, I just thought I'd tell my story. It's great that there is so much support from really nice people here. I appreciate any help and opinions of people who can relate to the following,
I have suffered from SAD all my life and depression for probably about the same amount of time. My depression is mainly as a result of the severe SAD.
I was bullied throughout school. I find it difficult to make friends, have never found a partner and feel as if I never will most of the time. I get so nervous around people, when people watch me doing things, like talking, writing etc. I worry about things alot. I tremble, my heart throbs and I can't speak properly when I get nervous. I don't know what to say to people. I have all the symptoms of SAD and most of the symptoms of depression. I am terrified around women and this is the most depressing part. At times I feel like ending it all when my depression becomes really intense. I wouldn't though because I'm afraid to die and people would be really hurt if I did something like that. I guess a tiny part of me believes I will have a successful future, nice home, kids and soulmate, I dream about having that.
I'm 20 now and for my whole life I have kept all my problems to myself. It is affecting my college work so badly cause I'm always tired and can't concentrate. The best decision I ever made was to seek help which was 2 months ago. I have started seeing a counsellor in college, taking antidressants and going to a depression support group. I don't know what I'd be like if I still hadn't used their help. I really appreciate them and would advice anyone else to take advantage of them if they can get them.
Unfortunately I am still very depressed but slightly better, I have no problem talking about my feelings and problems to the people supporting me. I'm really worried that I will never be able to have conversations with women though and nobody will be interested in me. I know theres someone out there for everyone but I still feel so sad that my soulmate might have passed me by. Thanks for reading this, I know I have alot to be greatful for and that I have been given alot in life but its hard to see things like that when you are so upset. I hope things get better this year, not just for me but for you too. I'd love to be able to help people with SAD and depression when I'm better. I guess you learn how to respect people with problems when your having your own ones yourself. If only the stigma could be removed from mental health problems.
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to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.
