i am i loosing it or else..... ?

[bumbazz]

hi sorry this ismy first post and iamnot to sure how to explain it at the moment what is troubling me.

i have been suffering from panic attack and anxiety disorder since i was a teen, i did have a short spell of depression when i was 18 . after seeing a psychaitirst and a psychologist i have learn to control my anxiety and panic attack until now. alhough they suggest ti at the yime that ishoudl see a psychotherapist as i have some deeper issue to deal with as aparently i "have too many defence mechanism "but still don't knwo much about what she was talking about.

last years well was very difficult for me and my other half. we had a lot of stress and some event to whci iam still very angry about it ( not towards my partner but to another person who caused some real problem).


since last year i have put on alot of weight over 20 kilos in less than 9 month . i don't sleep very well often waking up every hour or so . i am tired eeryday and "edgy" most of the time. i went to see my GP's who had doen a lot of blood work but everythign came back fine aprt form high blood pressure and cholesterol.

the most tiny thing can make me jump which. before didn't annoyed me at all. it causing some argument with my other half to which is mainly my fault as i am so exhausted all the time.

last night i have a some bizarre occurance i don't know if i have dream about it or not. i was crying all the time no reason i coudln't even recognized myself i was so sad and very agitated. i stil don't knwo if i have dreamt thids episode or not ... anyway since i feel very sad. it felt like i was having a nervous breakdown.

i feel like i am loosing it at the minutes and don't knwo what to do ! my partner is very supportive but sometime he said that i have some bad mood swings and especially the last few month.

i tried to approach my doctor but i have the impression that i am only loosing mine and their time .

sorry for this wallowing but i fear for my sanity at the minutes, i have no energy to do anything.

[alias_kev]

Hi. I suffered for a long time with apparent stress/depression. Looking back I came to the conclusion that these were only masking an underlying general anxiety (GAD). Without wishing to guess at your problems its worth reading up on GAD to see if it fits your condition. I found that most of the books in the local library were about Panic Attacks and very little even admitted that more general anxiety existed.

I suspect GAD gets even less attention than other forms of anxiety as its less visible - the headlines the symptoms are less exciting and less visible and its not even a trendy/lazy diagnosis like self esteem problems.

Read the anxiety page on the left.
This one at AnxietyCare.org.uk which I found helpful.
And even the patient info at Patient UK.

Without meaning to sound harsh that weight gain is quite a bit and will be slowing you down physically. It might also be a symptom of eating a lot of low quality foods (cake, choco, etc) and the blood sugar swings from that will not help your anxiety.

I could type more but I think you'll gain most from reading the links first. Come back with questions in the General Anx forum or whereever.

Hope this helps.

PS: If it comes to it there are meds that help GAD - even some of the SSRI antidepressants.

[bumbazz]

thank you for your comment i willtake them into consideration however what worried me the most is the mood swing i can pass from being very happy to very low and depressed very quickly.

last years everytime i was very depresed i end up taking / doing some very selly things to such as spending alot of money which leads me i unfortunately to be declared bankrupt last year.

what i am very angry or vent out is like an other person is within me i have no control on what i say .

i fell sometimes that i have 2 different "me" one which is very happy and one which pop up quite often and come s with a very dark mood.

my other half tell me that i am often like this and sometimes he feel liek walking on egg shell .for example lat week end i was watching television , in happy mood laughing and making joke with my other half and suddenly i am really low , very upset having an argument with my partner and shouting at him for no reasons apart i thought he did say something bad about me to which he did not say anything . sorry if i am rambling on and on ... . my other halk keep saying that i am often like that very happy elated and suddenly very low and moody.

regarding the food well last year i was on a diet weight watcher for many years so i was surprised to have put so much on.. i ahvew known abotu my problem with anxiety for many years and have more or less "controlled" it . but the last few month it seems getting worst and to be honest i am quite fed up with a lot of things at the moment.

thank you again.