mole removal - update

[robelros]

so, i went to the dermatologist today and showed her a bunch of moles that are really concerning me. she didn't seem overly concerned, but didn't brush them off either (i guess that's a good thing?).... bottom line, she's gonna remove 4 of them next tuesday. she's doing a shave though, not surgery- has anyone ever had that, and does that get the skin cancer cells if they happen to be in there? she also said that the color might come back if she doesn't get all of the cells in the shave (unless, god forbid, there is cancer found in which case they'll have to go back in via surgery to get it all). i'm not nervous at all for the scars or the pain or whatever, i'm just anxious about the whole thing. i hate that i ahve to wait a whole week to just get them removed, and then i have to wait a whole while after that to get pathology results. this is just a horrid process, isn't it? has anyone had any experience with this that they can share? thinking about the whole thing just makes me sick, and i can't imagine all the waiting i'm going to have to do. it is going to be like torture. thank you for any help you can provide!

[lauren6]

I have had many spots removed, some completely and some "shaved" as you describe. All I can say is that you have to keep telling yourself that it is probably fine and tell yourself that your anxiety is such because you are you and your next door neighbor wouldn't be as frightened. This is a technique that works for a lot of people...making believe they are "Susan" or any other friend you can think of.

The other thing is that you have to imagine what's the worst thing that can happen if the biopsy is positive...well, they will treat it. There are several types of skin cancer and most people do NOT get diagnosed with melanoma, especially at a young age. The other types can be treated and cured. My folks have had all of them from years of sun exposure. My Mom even had melanoma and it was removed and she is fine!

Please try to find stuff to do until then, rent DVDs, anything to get your mind off this and keep reminding yourself that it can be fixed, whatever it is. I have had so many things removed and they were not cancer. They were all seborrheic keratosis, the most common brown mark we all get. You are wise to get this attended to so congratulations on not ignoring it.

[robelros]

thanks lauren - you bring up really good points. i'm gonna try and pretend i'm someone else, for instance, a friend of mine's husband had a few moles removed some months back and they were waiting for results for about a week or so. and i kept asking her "are you nervous? is he nervous?" and basically, she was like, not really, it's probably nothing. and it's just astonishing to me that not everyone thinks the way i (we) do, ya know? there is a whole other world out there. so, i will try and do that, thanks.

in regards to your second point, here's where my mind flies off the deep end. to me, if i am diagnosed with melanoma, it isn't going to be the easy, remove the mole thing and it's gone. in my head, i've had melanoma for years and it's been building and building and growing in my body for so many years. and now it's in my brain (hence frequent headaches) and in my lymph nodes (hence what i think is an enlarged lymph node in my groin but might not be for all i know), etc. do you know what i mean? i totally hear you on what you're saying though (in my 'rational mind')- and i've ordered a few books to try and help me out with this. i know i need to not think of the one or two or three cases i've heard or read about where the young person has died b/c of melanoma they'd had for years and not known....

thank you again for your sage advice on all these posts... you're doing a great thing for me and lots of others on here! i will let you know how it all goes.

[lauren6]

Hi robelros, I am curious which books you ordered. I have all of them and they help when I am going through a panic about health. My hope is that it all sinks in. We all have a tug of war with the rational part of our head and the fearful part. It's a shame because mostly everyone I know with health anxiety or excessive anxiety in general is really smart! With all this intelligence though, we still have this battle.

We have to keep trying to win and let the rational dominate. It's hard when a pain appears when we have had a real episode before as a result of that pain. I know it's hard with what you're saying too because I had tremendous anxiety with a brown spot last year, called the derm dr. and they said they had nothing for a month! I told the receptionist I think I have cancer and she squeezed me in the next day, lol...but I really did fear that it was and being on my back, I couldn't see it well.

I also have friends like you describe, they are so matter-of-fact and feel "whatever, I'll handle it". I wish I could be like that, waiting for test results has to be the worst thing but try, try, to realize what you've conjured up is the product of a creative imagination...that's what one therapist told me...she said that people with anxiety are so smart that they have the greatest imaginations to create the most dramatic scenarios.

Regarding an enlarged lymph node in your groin...is that something you actually see and feel and if so, has it been looked at?

[robelros]

so, i bought an introduction to coping with health anxiety (by young and hogan) and the one by claire weekes (self help for your nerves). i ordered them both through amazon and haven't gotten them yet but i'm really looking fwd to starting them. have you read either of those? you're right, it is such an uphill battle all the time, no matter how rational we are about everything else in the world. my mom actually has this same issue, but for some reason, her thing is AIDS. she FREAKS when she sees someone with an open cut, and she seems to think that she can get AIDS from stepping on a blood napkin, wearing shoes. i kid you not. and every time i tell her that is impossible and irrational, i say to myself "why can i be rational about this but not with my stuff?" it's just so sneaky. you mentioned that you saw a therapist (or several) - would you recommend doing that? was it helpful? what are your favorite books that you'd suggest?

well this enlarged lymph node thing could be all in my head. you cannot see any lump, but because i am the way i am, i am always feeling myself for lumps and bumps, and i've had a bump in my left groin (right around where the leg meets the torso) that you can feel but can't see. it is kind of long, probably about an inch, and sorta narrow. so isn't like a ball, more like a very short worm (but harder). anyway, my boyfriend is a medical resident so i made him feel it when i first noticed it (months and months ago), and he said he doubts its anything and probably is tissue or something. i let it drop after that b/c he just doesn't/wouldn't understand my HA issues. and i haven't seen anyone else about it. he made me feel better temporarily but now that i'm all worried about melanoma again, it is back on my mind and i am feeling it again.....

[lauren6]

People have mentioned Claire weeks many times here. This is so outdated. Yes, she was one of the pioneers in the field of anxiety and she is fantastic but since you were on Amazon, you probably saw books specifically about health anxiety. I think the best ones are Stop Worrying About Your Health by George Zgourides and It's Not All In Your Head by Gordon Asmundson.

Being that your Mom has this too, it would benefit both of you.

[robelros]

thanks for the suggestions. i'll look at those too. i did do a book search in amazon for "health anxiety" and got a lot of hits - i don't remember if those were in there but i'm sure they were. i ordered the claire weekes one at the suggestion of a few others.... though you're right, as someone whose anxiety is almost entirely centered around health issues, i might be better off with some other ones.

you mentioned therapy before - would you recommend it? do you feel that it helped you?

[Alexy]

Heya, i have very recently been through the same worries, literally, i mean i ggot my results today, which were fine thank god but i completely understand how you feel, i didnt get taken seriously for ages, literally i had to wait months to see a dermatologist and i was so convinced the mole was cancerous, and so this was terrfying, even after this i had to wait another month to have it removed:S

I dont know if mine was shaved, but they numbed it completely and i didnt feel a thing
all i can say is try and distract yourself really, i know this is hard, and to be honest all i managed to preoccupy myself with was other potential illnesses, but honestly, i was SO convinced mine was dodgey, and it wasn't so just try and be more positive
Plus, even if it was bad, the procedures are usually very sucessful and stuff

Just wanted to let you know iv been thorugh the same and understand how your feeling, good luck

[robelros]

thanks alexy... i appreciate your story. i know that people get moles removed all the time and it is so routine. i just did another bad thing, though - i went on facebook and searched in groups for "melanoma" - i was just curious to see what is out there and if they have facebook groups on the topic. well i found a group that had people post their experiences with melanoma - and now i feel like everyone in the world gets it!!! it seems as common as a cold now to me, though obviously much more deadly. there are so many posts from people who are REALLY young who have it or who posted that they lost loved ones at a very young age from the disease. this is why i should not be allowed around computers! it was the facebook equivalent of google- not a good idea!

[Alexy]

Yeah, but you cant help yourself can you, when you have health anxiety:S I TRY and stop myself with the googling and what not, but eventually, when im really stressed, i crack and do it:S I just have now haha, god this sucks!! Buts seriously, i mean i didnt know you could do the facebook thing, but surley it is going to seem like everybody in the world has it, if your looking at a group for people with it? and i mean, again i have no idea, but how many people were actually in the group? i bet compared to like, the actual world population its not a HUGGE percentage?
Plus, i read somewhere that like 97% of people survive after procedures have been done, if there is a melenoma..it was a biology textbook, dunno how long ago it was published, but thats kinda reassuring maybe?

Honestly, i know right now you'll just be obsessed with it, but honestly, moles can act weird, like, my dermatologist told me that moles can change (it has a name that i don't remember, poly summat) and do look dodgey, but actually aren't i think that was like mine..

hope any of this helps xxxx