Unable to cope

[tom1]

Hi everyone.
Right now my thoughts and feelings are overwhelming so much I just want to cry my eyes out. I feel so fed up, tired, anxious and depressed and everything around me is making me feel a whole lot worse.

Since christmas, I've been getting worse and worse with my anxiety, depression and insomnia, that it's now getting to the point where it is taking over my life again and ruining my quality of life.

Each day I am overwhelmed with anxious thoughts and fears and I am depressed because I am unable to do anything about them. I am on medication (Sertraline) but it doesn't seem to be working. I am also currently doing CBT but it also doesn't seem to be working.

All my anxiety, depression and insomnia is affecting everything. When I go to the shops, when I go out with friends and family for meals, getting things done that need to be, trying to get some decent sleep - all of this is ruined.

My main struggle and concern right now is trying to cope with my university work and manage all of this. At the moment, I am not coping and I am missing a lot of time off university and I am falling behind a lot with my work. Deadlines are getting closer and some work I haven't even started...I've been so depressed and tired, everything is so, so hard to do. Furthermore, because I've fallen behind I am struggling to understand the work and make sense of it. So it's a vicious circle and missing uni and not being able to understand the work makes it harder for me to get the work done that is due. I feel like jacking it all in, but I know it's the worst thing I can possibly do. I just don't know what I am going to do about all this.

[reallyfedup]

you seem to feel overwhelmed by everything that is expected of you, and you feel unable to deliver. I think you need to speak to someone like your tutor at UNi, and your dr for support and advice. I think also that you feel if the pressure of your uni work was taken away you will feel better so that is why you are considering quitting. It it possible to get extensions for your work? Can you defer and repeat the year next year? There is usually a way around the problems but try to think about what might be the right solutions for you at this point in time and talk to the people who could facilitate this. Take care x

[PUGLETMUM]

hi tom, the others have given great advice - i agree with you going to your gp and having another chat about the setraline - why you feel it isnt working and whether youve been on it long enough, if you should try something else etc. i think it is widely agreed now that meds work best in conjunction with talking therapies - cbt does work - im proof, but only if the time is right - not really in the middle of an episode, unless you can find a really good therapist who recognises the depression and can help you to deal with that first - however from my experience the depression usually lifts when you start to make beahvioural changes and you see your life coming back together, not sure though as im not sure what your havinfg cbt for - are you having it for depression? also i would like to suggest a book that finally got me better - i havent had a relaspse from my depression now in a year since recovery despite having a miscarriage and relationship problems - its called 'freeing yourself from chronic unhappiness - the mindful way through depression' - by john kabat zinn - i cannot recommend this book enough - you can get it on amazon, take care, emma

[jack00]

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time at the moment.

Universities are really good at looking after their students and you will definitely be heard sympathetically if you need to defer or find another way to deal with your current workload. The University will have a welfare office and if you go and see them they will certainly be able to suggest some options for the way forward.

I think that what you should focus on at the moment is looking after yourself -- give yourself lots of space and time to do so, and don't be too hard on yourself. And it sounds as if you are really working hard on your recovery, by doing things like going shopping and meeting people (and posting here!). That's really great, and I think you should be congratulating yourself for doing all of that.

PS Emma's book suggestion is a very good one and I also highly recommend it!

Jack

[tom1]

I think it will be more trouble than it's worth to be honest. I think I'm just going to have to try and get on with it. If I fail this year, I fail. I've got to atleast try and do this as hard as it will be. I'm changing my approach to this now - I don't want to give in to my problems. I guess I'll cross the bridge of 'failure' when I come to it but right now I've just got it get it done.

I'm not giving my problems any sympathy right now.

[PUGLETMUM]

hi tom, i think that is a very positive way of looking at it - and more power to you for feeling like this - it isnt the end of the world if you dont do well at things, either try again or do something else - but dont ever ever beat yourself up! we are only human and its okay to make mistakes and to fall flat on our faces - its what makes us who we are

[freakedout]

Tom,

Uni is tough without the added pressure of living with depression. Hang on in there for as long as you can. I admire you, I hope you get 'on top' of things soon.

Freaky

[tom1]

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to write an update to get things off my mind.

At the moment things are slowly getting there in the way of getting my uni work done. However, I'm having some bad problems with getting out of the house. Firstly traveling to uni has made me stressed, secondly the things I organise in my mind to do at uni become so overwhelming I end up not doing them. It's like, I say to myself "I can do this - today I will go in and get this bit of work done" but upon getting up I have several things going through my mind about getting through the busy traffic, parking, and then facing the workload when I finally get there. It's like everything builds up to a point where I just panic which therefore results in a full blown panic attack and none of it gets done.

Lots of days I am having sleepless nights because I am disappointed with myself and my failure to accomplish (in the great scheme of things) simple tasks. Furthermore, surrounding family problems have also been playing on my mind which have just happened recently and I am trying to deal with that as well.

I've spoken to my doctor and the doctor said there is nothing they can do for me anymore, since I have tried nearly every form of medication and therapy they can give. So I am being moved onto someone who is a specialist apparently - whether that is a psychiatrist I don't know.

I'd like to think help is around the corner but I just cannot see things clearly, all I see is my impending doom.

I remember one time I was getting well in my life, and that was a few years ago when I was on paroxetine. I got a lot better, but over time it caused some unpleasant effects. Like it made me more aggressive, less caring, lazy and very tired. Eventually, the benefit of the medication stopped working and I had to change to Sertraline which is what I am taking now.

I find it all very frustrating because I remember how it is to feel well - without anxiety and depression all the time. So in my mind I am constantly referred to that experience I had for a brief time, and how good it felt.

[Oceanblue]

I've spoken to my doctor and the doctor said there is nothing they can do for me anymore, since I have tried nearly every form of medication and therapy they can give. So I am being moved onto someone who is a specialist apparently - whether that is a psychiatrist I don't know.

Hi Tom,

It seems to me that you have underlining prob's you need to deal with and that being referred to a Psychiatrist will be good for you.

Despite what you're going through, you seem to be very determined and i'm so sure these issues will not take much time to resolve.

When you say you've tried every form of medication,.. are you sure ? There's tons out there. I'm sure the Psychiatrist will help you find the right one and along with some sort of counselling therapy, I think this will really help you.

Just one thing, did the doc mention how much time you will have to wait for a referal ?

All the best, I hope something can be sorted soon x

[Dooges]

Hi Tom,
You say in your post that you get overwhelmed by the amount of things you have to do in a day that they all start piling up in your head and in the end you get nothing done. Look at this from a different angle, I was exactly the same with work. So many things to do, pressure from my boss to get things done, taking the pessure home with me, feeling that I had accomplished nothing during the day etc etc... I did something really simple.

I started writing lists..

Start with what you do each morning to get ready
Then how you get to uni
Then what you have to do, break it all down every single bit.
Then as you do each thing check it off. Put a big tick or a smiley face beside it and you will feel good each time you tick it something off.
Then at the end of he day, look back at your list and there you will see proof that you have made a grreat effort towards your final goal. And your goal is passing Uni.
From what I can tell you are looking at only the big picture, and for me looking at your big picture from the outside in I can see why your stressed,. It's stressing me out just thinking about it...
So start with the small things, list them all and keep ticking them off, soon enough the little things turn into big things, but in a good way.

Hope this helps.