Getting over someone anxiety.

[noonoo]

I know we were never going out, nothing has ever happened between us, but i've liked a guy from work since I started there in October. I finally worked up to asking him out for a drink in January, which he said yes and then no to.
After I asked him why he said he's happy single (this was at the end of January). So I kept my distance, played it cool but also tried not to fade into the background too much. I was finding anything to talk to him about, secretly waiting in hope that we'd maybe get together someday when he's ready.

I told him this week that i'd really like to talk to him (I suffer with servere anxiety so talking about things is important to me). He said yes ok, but then last night when I asked him when he wants to meet up he said he doesn't know because he'll be doing things with the new girl he's seeing. I dropped my phone and burst into tears. I know it was just a huge crush but still I can't help how I feel. I have such strong feelings for him. I feel like he lied to me.

I ended up having to txt him last night everything I wanted to say, I wanted to do it face to face but after that I couldn't wait. At first he txt me saying "well im seeing someone now sorry" (almost like saying if I'D made a move. I thought that was pretty blunt). I txt him again just one more time and he said "i'm sorry didnt wanna upset ya". Then I just left it. Phoned and txt my friends. One of them i'm going out n about with today because she wants to cheer me up.

I only got about 3 hours sleep last night and almost gave myself a panic attack over it, I felt sick and shakey. I tried to go back to bed but everytime I closed my eyes i'd see him with another girl (I don't even know what she looks like).
Sorry I just need to talk :( I feel like i've lost all hope that I was hanging on to.

[noonoo]

[MissiD]

Hi noonoo

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time
I suspect the lack of responses haven't helped but try not to take that personally. It's not always easy for people to help others when they're having a bad time themselves, or rushing around dealing with other things.

I'm very sorry that you have been hurt by this guy. Some of us with anxiety can get attached to people very easily and when they let us down it feels devastating (I do speak from experience). It's not necessarily anyones fault but I think we sometimes feel it more than others.

I know it's easy for me to say but you do need to try & focus on something else rather than this guy & the situation. I imagine it's very hard if you work with him though. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you can distract yourself with? I know this is all easier said than done but you do need to try not to dwell on what's happened or you're not going to feel any better. Look after yourself and do some nice things for YOU

If you need to talk more then just shout

Take care
Mel x

[noonoo]

Last night I sent him a txt saying "Hey, I want to say sorry for the way I was towards you on Monday. I was upset and I know now that I overreacted. I just want to clear the air now and for things not to be awkward between us, especially at work. Still want to be mates? Hope you have a good few days off and the weather stays nice for you".

Do you think I was right to do that? He didn't reply.
I can't help myself. I always say sorry first. I WILL leave it at that with him now.

[MissiD]

I think that sounds very reasonable even if he hasn't/doesn't reply. I would leave it now though and hopefully things will start settling down. It might take a bit of time.
Hope yo're feeling a bit better & don't feel bad for having apologised!
Mel x