Rant : Help needed!

[Kaybee]

I couldn't see a rant forum and I really needed to get this off of my chest.

I'm currently feeling terrible. I broke up with my boyfriend earlier this evening. About an hour later, I took the most dreadful panic attack. I was physically sick and everything.

The feelings of sheer useless and worthlessness are overwheming me now and I don't know what to do.

I had to end the relationship, because even though I loved him so much, he was never properly there when I needed him. He never understood panic attacks or my severe fear of crowds and in the end, he was too distant. I think I was maybe too much "crazy" for him.

Why do my panic attacks and all my other issues force me to push everyone I care about so far away from me?! I think even my parents are starting to get fed up with me. It's getting to the stage where I'm freaking out constantly because I'm sure I'm going to be alone my entire life!

I'm not just upset at the breakup. I'm more upset because if I could control my panic... it wouldn't have ended that way. This always happens to me. Will I ever find anyone who understands that I just need that little bit more care and attention?

I don't think I will.

[Sinatra877]

Aww...Kaybee. Don't feel that way. Some men, BF's or spouses are just not sympathetic to the needs of a loved one that way due to ignorance. My Ex was the same way and I was not strong enough to deal with them and I was distant as well. It took me for a ride that I had not expected.

I am not a Doctor. I'm just a guy that read your post. I think that you two should try counseling so he may also get some guidance to your specific needs. Then; I think you should seek professional treatment to target the root of your panic attacks.

The heartache will end in time. Your former boyfriend may come back or you may be blessed with a man strong enough to hear your woes and work with you but the true gift would be to find out what takes you to that realm of dispair and discomfort. Good luck...I'm sure you'll do fine.

[MOZZY]

Hi there , sorry your having a rough time at the moment. There are men out there that do understand anx and panic attacks. You will find someone that is right for you im sure of that. When you do im sure the panic attacks will not be so bad. I have the support of my boyfriend and he doesnt know anything about panic attacks but im teaching him and even though i sometimes think why the hell is he with me. but he must love me. keep smiling

[StephdeMeth]

Wow, reading that it was almost as if I'd written it myself. I know exactly what you mean about people not understanding Panic Attacks, they don't seem to understand the impact it has on the person suffering them, and those that do understand I generally push away because I don't want to affect their lives.
You will find someone. I always have the doubts that you're having - I'm almost certain I'm going to end up single for the rest of my life, but then I look at other couples, people with Epilepsy, people with mental disabilities, and people who are worse off than us. (believe it or not, I know it doesn't seem like it most of the time) They've lived a normal life, just like we can, we just need to find the right person. They'll come along eventually, you just have to wait until they do. (Easier said than done I know)
xx