I can't stop thinking about it

[GirlAfraid23]

I cannot stop thinking about my "symptoms" and probably making them ten times worse.
I can't concentrate on anything...uni assignments, work, general life!
When I'm with my friends I am constantley down and they know something is wrong because I always seem to put on an act.

Its becoming exhausting.

If other people have read my previous posts, I feel like I keep saying the same thing but I'm worried about HIV. Although I have only ever had protected sex with one person, twice.

I googled "rough, dry patches in the mouth", which is what I have - and guess what - HIV!
I am worried that it is either this or mouth cancer because I have a reoccurrent ulcer on my tongue, along with these rough patches.
Its making my life hell!
Usually I can go out and drink moderatley with friends, but I wont even do that now, for fear of making it worse.
I have started shoving tissue into the corners of my mouth before I go to sleep so I can't feel the patches against the rest of my mouth.
After I've brushed my teeth, my mouth is constantley fuzzing and I dont know if this is something equally as bad...
I have experienced HA for many years but I have never had it for this long before (about 3 months) usually I go to the GP and get reassured, it may last for abit longer but I can usually convince myself otherwise. HIV is such a tricky one, because as I have been told time & time again, it doesnt have any SPECIFIC symptoms etc etc.
It's driving me crazy and I was going to cut my arm the other day just so I could go to A&E so that they could do a blood test on me.
I am currentley awaiting a hospital appointment concerning my mouth problem as I went to see my dentist twice and he said that he could refer me for a second opinion if I wanted one and I said yes. But because they didnt see it as "important" they only just sent the letter off.

Its really not fair, what do you have to do to get taken seriously?! I feel like the one that cried wolf too many times!

Please help, I'm driving myself crazy and I'm scaring my family & friends & myself!!!!

[Mondie]

It's horrible, not being able to switch off from our fears and symptoms; I swear it makes them worse. Have you spoken to your doctor about your fears and anxiety? Mine has just referred me for some councelling with the local mental health team (sounds like I'm mad, but she reassures me I'm not!) I'm hoping that they will help me understand how to break the cycle of being im constant fear. Might be worthwhile getting to your doctors to see if they can help.

Just remember that we're all in the same boat and here for you to offload to if that helps

[LisaLisa]

I cannot stop thinking about my "symptoms" and probably making them ten times worse.
I can't concentrate on anything...uni assignments, work, general life!
When I'm with my friends I am constantley down and they know something is wrong because I always seem to put on an act.

Its becoming exhausting.

If other people have read my previous posts, I feel like I keep saying the same thing but I'm worried about HIV. Although I have only ever had protected sex with one person, twice.

I googled "rough, dry patches in the mouth", which is what I have - and guess what - HIV!
I am worried that it is either this or mouth cancer because I have a reoccurrent ulcer on my tongue, along with these rough patches.
Its making my life hell!
Usually I can go out and drink moderatley with friends, but I wont even do that now, for fear of making it worse.
I have started shoving tissue into the corners of my mouth before I go to sleep so I can't feel the patches against the rest of my mouth.
After I've brushed my teeth, my mouth is constantley fuzzing and I dont know if this is something equally as bad...
I have experienced HA for many years but I have never had it for this long before (about 3 months) usually I go to the GP and get reassured, it may last for abit longer but I can usually convince myself otherwise. HIV is such a tricky one, because as I have been told time & time again, it doesnt have any SPECIFIC symptoms etc etc.
It's driving me crazy and I was going to cut my arm the other day just so I could go to A&E so that they could do a blood test on me.
I am currentley awaiting a hospital appointment concerning my mouth problem as I went to see my dentist twice and he said that he could refer me for a second opinion if I wanted one and I said yes. But because they didnt see it as "important" they only just sent the letter off.

Its really not fair, what do you have to do to get taken seriously?! I feel like the one that cried wolf too many times!

Please help, I'm driving myself crazy and I'm scaring my family & friends & myself!!!!

Hey hi

I am probably not one to talk but I have the same fear as you.

I have had four negative test results but am still convinced, you have no risk at all but are still convinced...... i know it is very exhausting and so hard to deal with.

It such a horrible pit to be in, and I worry all the time about cry wolf but in reality I can tell you ( doesnt seem to work for me ) life doesnt work that way. Just because you have that horrible gut feeling doesnt mean you are right. Sounds like your subconscious dealing with something else and making you feel anxious all the time and you are pinning it onto HIV.

You have so many similarities to me in the way you are explaining your feelings and your experiences with doctor/dentist also in the way it is all consuming and its all you can think about and it effects all areas of your life and involves all your family and friends- me too.

Are you going to see a psychologist or counsellor?

Lisa
xx

[GirlAfraid23]

Hey hi

I am probably not one to talk but I have the same fear as you.

I have had four negative test results but am still convinced, you have no risk at all but are still convinced...... i know it is very exhausting and so hard to deal with.

It such a horrible pit to be in, and I worry all the time about cry wolf but in reality I can tell you ( doesnt seem to work for me ) life doesnt work that way. Just because you have that horrible gut feeling doesnt mean you are right. Sounds like your subconscious dealing with something else and making you feel anxious all the time and you are pinning it onto HIV.

You have so many similarities to me in the way you are explaining your feelings and your experiences with doctor/dentist also in the way it is all consuming and its all you can think about and it effects all areas of your life and involves all your family and friends- me too.

Are you going to see a psychologist or counsellor?

Lisa
xx

I am supposed to be seeing a counseller tomorrow

I'm scared about getting the test done. Should I just go for it?

[GirlAfraid23]

I also have a sore roof of the mouth...

[Mondie]

Go see you councellor and go and get the test done, that way you will have peace of mind and can hopefully start to make progress on your anxiety

[LisaLisa]

I am supposed to be seeing a counseller tomorrow

I'm scared about getting the test done. Should I just go for it?

Yes you should particularly because you have no risk at all! It is gointo be negative but it sounds like you need to see that written down to move on......hopefully not to something else though. Have you considered if this will happen? If you think so then the counsellor might say that testing is pointless because its anxiety that you have and not HIV ! ( definately not HIV because you have not been at risk and you dont have the symptoms)

Lisa
xx

[GirlAfraid23]

Yes you should particularly because you have no risk at all! It is gointo be negative but it sounds like you need to see that written down to move on......hopefully not to something else though. Have you considered if this will happen? If you think so then the counsellor might say that testing is pointless because its anxiety that you have and not HIV ! ( definately not HIV because you have not been at risk and you dont have the symptoms)

Lisa
xx

Do you really think so?
I am convinced that my symptoms are HIV related...
The dry patches in the mouth cannot be explained by anything else, plus I feel weak alot of the time and drained and tired!!!!
I'm too scared to get the test...I'm gonna talk to the counseller tomorrow

[Hollytree]

Oh hunny, you must calm yourself, you must know that you haven't got HIV, please tell me why do think you have got it??

I went through the HIV fear for 20 years!!! scared myself s**tless, every symptom i had i found a way to relate it to HIV, it made my life a nightmare, my doctor told me point blank that i didn't have it!!! i was going crazy thinking how does he know!!! believe me hun, they are trained to know, and what to look for, i did, in the end have an HIV test....guess what it was negative please don't let this fear control you for the rest of your life.

Also, Oral cancer does have specific symptoms that a Doctor or dentist would be able to detect by looking in your mouth

This is taken fro the nhs website, i hope it helps you, i really do.

"Oral cancer tends not to cause any noticeable symptoms during the initial stages of the disease.
This is why it is important to have regular dental check-ups, particularly if you are a smoker, and/or a heavy drinker because a dentist may often be able to detect the condition during an examination.
You should have a dental check-up at least every two years"


Here to talk xxxxx

[london]

good luck at the counsellor but i still say you have not got it