HIV worries!!

[Shadowshil]

Hello all
I am at my wits end at the moment. For the past weeks my anxiety is sky high! Last saturday i noticed some glands on my groin which i could feel. I cant relly see them only feel them with my hands. I am obsessing over HIV now because 2 years ago i had sex with a guy i didn't know quite well. We had protected sex but after 2-3 weeks i got a fever which i could not explain (it was february though). I have lost quite enough weight the last year but i was on a diet and i even have put some weight on (about 3-4 kilos) the past months. I went to the doctor about the glands and he told me that it is nothing serious, i had a blood count which was normal and he told me it is probably because of me shaving this area. I cant really take it out of my mind!! I feel ill the whole time and i have almost none saliva in my mouth which makes me even more anxious. The thing is i do remember the guy putting the condom on but i didn't really remember looking at it afterwards and i am now convincing my self that maybe there was a small hole or something on it or even maybe it broke and he just didn't say anything. I am almost crazy with worry and feeling already guilty of passing it on my boyfriend or my ex or even my family! I am so scared of taking the test now i am in such a bad state and i am not sure i can handle a possitive test at this moment. I have no idea why i am writing this now maybe just to voice my own thoughts as this is a subject i cant or don't want to talk about with my boyfriend ( to whom i talk usually about my phobias).

Any reply will be good. Thanks for reading all this...

Shadow

[tashbarnes87]

heya!! im really sorry you are going through such a hard time at the mo. I have a massive fear of HIV too, i know this probably isnt what you want to hear but you will always have that little seed of doubt that there was a hole etc enless you get tested. Least then you will know or sure that you are 100% fine!!

xx

[patmac]

i was the same, i contract everything going though not just hiv the glands i felt in my groin in my head were cancer.
when i felt like that and still do i think about getting pregnant then they give you the hiv test, stupid i know as you would have to have unpretected sex . but all these thoughts go through your head. if you had protected sex then you couldnt off got it off him even if he did have it which i doubt. try not to worry about having hiv. get the test done to put your mind at rest. xx

[Shadowshil]

I know but i really cant do it right now. I already have drove myself crazy with guilt in the thought that i might have infected my boyfriend or my ex. Is not a fear for myself anymore is a fear for those i love and care about. I am not sure i cant handle it. I told my doctor my worries and he told me that i am being irrational about it and if i had something that serious my whole clinical condition would have been different. He of course told me to get tested just to put my mind on ease but his opinion was i have nothing to be afraid of. I just want to relax a little and maybe i will find the courage and get tested...

Thanks
Shadow

[patmac]

you wont relax until u have been tested would it not be eaiser to get tested just now, if you leave it longer your ex could sleep with some1 else who could sleep with some1 else n so on and so on how would you feel then? you would be in a worse state.
dont panic i really dont think you will have hiv from that experence. x

[luchipoo]

I have this exact fear Shadowshil and it is horrible. My experience was 7 years ago and recently I haven't been able to stop thinking it, it is literally consuming me. It's probably a good idea to go for a test, that way you will know for sure and then you can get on with your life x

[Stressed32]

Shadowshil- Sorry to see you here going through the same things as me. I worry about it too. Then my anxiety symptoms kicked in and I made the mistake of googling them and saw HIV...it all came to a head when I began to make it a real possibility.

Realistically, this is near impossible! 1st of all, it is VERY hard for a man to get it from a women through normal heterosexual contact...like 0.00009%. I say normal contact b/c MOST men who get it do so through anal sex w/ a male or female infected partner, or through needles. So the chances of the guy you slept with even having it are SO slim.
2ndly, IF he had it, you would have to sleep with him on average 1,000 times to get it from him. Your chances of getting it are 0.05% from a single sexual experience. LESS THAN 1%! There have been studeies where couples where 1 had it and the other didn't had sex over a 2 year period without condoms did not pass it to the other. It really is a very hard disease to catch.
Media and gov. hype it up for funding. Think about it...would as many people donate money for "research" if it was only a gay or drug users disease? No, so they make you think anyone can get it and scare the S**** out of us HA sufferes in the meantime. I have a few sites that you can go on and read these statics for yourself. If your interested, PM me and I'll send them...actually no here they are:

http://video.google.com/videosearch?...sitesea rch=#


http://www.virusmyth.com/aids/hiv/cjtestfp.htm

http://aliveandwell.org/

http://rethinkingaids.com.93.seekdotnet.com/

www.helpforhiv.com

http://www.peaceandlove.ca/AIDSsexmyth.html

http://www.healtoronto.com/

Each of these sites has links that will take you to updated articles and stroies. Please do not only look at these sites. Spend some time clicking on the links and do not be scared of what you will read. AND STAY OFF OF GOOGLE! Hope I have helped you.
Stressed

[nicbow]

While i understand your concerns i agree that HIV is very difficult to catch and by the sounds of how you think you may have contracted it, it is VERY unlikey indeed. I have first hand experience having friends and a family member with HIV and believe me you would not be passing it on to your family as if it were a cold believe me!

A test is VERY simple and will set your mind at ease, it is worth the anx to get over the 'big' anx of not knowing hun i promise!

However with regard to last post:
The government are not 'hyping' this up for funding, it is a serious disease - would you say they are 'hyping' up cancer for funding? NO you would not and im sorry but i think it is very narrow minded to say such a thing! Although there are medications to control HIV and you can lead a pretty normal life there is no cure, some cancers can be cured....i know i have had one! Rant over lol!

Best of luck, and really dont worry, i know an awful lot about this subject and i am more than happy to talk you through any concerns you may have and i am positive you will have your mind set at ease hun xxx

[scooby28]

Why don't you go to your local gum clinic and ask to be tested for hiv to put your mind at rest, my clinic didn't used to routinely check for hiv but now they do they just take some blood and you should have the results in two weeks. I recently had myself checked and i was really worried and crying my eyes out to the nurses in there and they were really helpful talking with me and helping me relax.

[Stressed32]

While i understand your concerns i agree that HIV is very difficult to catch and by the sounds of how you think you may have contracted it, it is VERY unlikey indeed. I have first hand experience having friends and a family member with HIV and believe me you would not be passing it on to your family as if it were a cold believe me!

A test is VERY simple and will set your mind at ease, it is worth the anx to get over the 'big' anx of not knowing hun i promise!

However with regard to last post:
The government are not 'hyping' this up for funding, it is a serious disease - would you say they are 'hyping' up cancer for funding? NO you would not and im sorry but i think it is very narrow minded to say such a thing! Although there are medications to control HIV and you can lead a pretty normal life there is no cure, some cancers can be cured....i know i have had one! Rant over lol!

Best of luck, and really dont worry, i know an awful lot about this subject and i am more than happy to talk you through any concerns you may have and i am positive you will have your mind set at ease hun xxx

Nicbow X-
I would like to clarify as I have done extensive research on the subject of HIV and aids due to my own HA with the issue stemmed originally from media messages received as early as age 14.
I said that the government "hypes" it up (and I meant US government) b/c that is in fact the truth. In 1987, here in the US, they along with the CDC began a campaign here in the US that told people that HIV = AIDS=Death and that you could get it through 1 normal heterosexual experience. At that time, the CDC found a preacher's son as a campaign poster boy to say "if I can get Aids, anyone can" making the heterosexual population immediately believe that they were at grave risk by simply having sex. They also found a beautiful blonde headed white woman to say the same. Then they mailed 167 billion flyers to heterosexual families across the US with these people's faces on the cover saying "If I can get Aids, you can too". What they failed to mention as they flooded US TV, radio, and newspaper airways scaring the crap out of teenagers like myself at that time was that this young man was gay and in fact contracted the disease from his partner through anal sex and the pretty woman was a drug user who got HIV from sharing needles.

The CDC and US gov. did nothing but support this claim, even though they knew it was not fully true, as BILLIONS of dollars began to poor in for AIDS research and funding, money that they could not get as long as the majority of individuals here the states assumed that they were not at risk. People here thought, I am not at risk so I am not giving money to help learn about something I can't catch, selfish yes I know. When they were made to think they were at risk, the money began flowing in.

I agree in the seriousness of the disease however, this is a disease that raises more money than cancer research, yet there are many less people getting it and dieing from it each year than from cancer and not because of any of this "research" or this money. With all of this research money pouring in, one would think there may be more conclusive tests for HIV, vaccines, better medications, and perhaps even a cure. But there are none of those things.

Did you know that the HIV test can give a false + because of a flu shot or even pregnancy along with about 30 other "normal" conditions that people have regularly who are not HIV? Did you also know that people here in the US can be considered to have AIDS here and in Canada they wouldn't? This is b/c here in the US it is measured by Viral load even when your not sick. If you have a low CD4 count, which can change throughout any given day, here you will be considered as having AIDS even if you’re not sick and in Canada you would only have HIV. Did you also know that here in the US, you can go to 1 clinic and test + on a western blot and - at another clinic b/c here there are no conclusive ways to read this particular test? It is based on risk factors that you reveal at testing and on the testing location. Another words if I go into a clinic in San Francisco, where HIV and Aids are prevalent, and get a test and say that I am a drug user and my Elisa test came back questionable, they would do a western blot. On that Western blot, they would look at my risk factors and the location of my clinic and base the decision as to whether or not I was HIV + on those things rather than the blot test itself. I could have 2 bars in San Francisco and be HIV+ but be a suburban rich house wife in Beverly Hills and have 2 bars and be found HIV-.

I am not sure about the media where you live, but I can assure you that here, we were raised believing and seeing on billboards and TV that if you EVER , even one time, have unprotected sex, you WILL get HIV, you WILL then get Aids and you will then die. Never on any billboard or TV campaign ad to raise money for Aids for HIV research have I seen anyone say that in fact the chances of getting HIV through normal heterosexual intercourse is less than 1%, 0.05% for females and 0.00009% for males. They made it and still make it sound like it is a sure thing every time unless you use a condom. In fact, the opposite is true. There have been many couples who have had unprotected sex for years and never passed it on to their partners. Can it happen, yes, but I can get hit by lighting too and my chances as a heterosexual female who does not do drugs or participate in anal sex are actually better of getting hit by lightning than getting HIV.

I by no means have a narrow mind and am sorry if anything I wrote offended you the way you have offended me. There was a Pulitzer Prize winning article about this very topic in the Wall Street Journal. If your interested in reading it, let me know and I'll send you the link.