Please Help!

[Lisa-Angel]

Myself and my boyfriend both have GAD, but i now have mine under good control mostly. We have always suffered with quite a few common symptoms but he has always had a problem with nausea and vomiting. I have never seen the actual vomiting part of it, or how bad it can be for him.

He got made redundant from a job he hated about 3 months ago, and has been trying to get a new job ever since. There are very few vacancies in this area so he had to settle for the one placement he got offered in a warehouse, right near my own place of work. We decided that we would share the car journey, as i don't drive and would be quicker for me than walking. He drops me off then goes back on himself a little way to go to his own job.

This is the second morning of his new job and we have pulled over for me to get out and he has vomited because he is so anxious. I think the vomiting is part of his full blown panic attack, and i have only seen him get part way into a panic attack before. It is uncontrollable and awful and paralysing for him. He feels humiliated and keeps saying he just wants to be normal. I can understand this feeling totally as i tend to faint in my own full blown panic attacks.

I just don't know how to help him, or what to suggest!!! I can't keep leaving him in the car practically in tears every morning, i sit at work worrying all day incase he isn't coping. Then worry all evening incase i have to go through it all again with him the next morning. He has tried anti-sickness drugs in the past and some counselling, but it didn't work.

If anyone has any advice at all i would really appreciate it

Lisa xx

[mick_uk]

Hiya Lisa,
I know you said your bf has tried anit-sickness drugs before and they didn't work,but has he tried STEMETIL. It has to be prescribed by your doc but it does work for a lot of people. Just a thought. It worked really well for me.

take care

mick

[nickieb]

Lisa

Hi there i think really wants he is back into a routine & its all familiar to him again the nausea & sickness will fade. Nausea is a huge problem in anxiety & panic & its not until we learn to control those factors that are stressing us or we are no longer stressed the nausea fades.

Please reassure him that this will fade in a few weeks but to continue with the job. Be strong for him & tell him to fight, try & take his attention away from his problems x

[Lisa-Angel]

I'm not sure but i will defo ask him. Thanks so much! We are going to see a Doctor on Saturday so maybe we can ask him about it. It's really upsetting seeing him in such distress and feeling useless not being able to help :'(

[Lisa-Angel]

Thanks Nickie, I kept trying to distract him by talking about something else but he was already too far into the panic attack to listen to anything i was saying. He was crying when he was being sick and i told him "Don't worry honey we'll get through this together. You were worried about being sick but now it's over. We won't let this anxiety win, I promise we won't let it win". It helped him to feel better about it afterwards but I don't think anything i will say will help prevent it from happening again tomorrow.

[mick_uk]

I know it must be upsetting for you, but it must be a great help to him that you are so supportive. You say you feel useless not being able to help him,but you are helping him a lot if you think about it. Support is a great help while he is going through this.

take care

mick

[Lisa-Angel]

Thanks Mick,

Do you think that him getting me to work on time might be putting more pressure on him right now? If he only had to get himself in and not worry about being sick and making me late, would he be more calm? I don't mind walking if it will help him, but i don't want him to think i'm abandoning him by suggesting it.

He said it went on for weeks when he started his last job four years ago, but i don't know if im strong enough to watch him go through that for weeks. I've only just got my own anxiety settled and i'm phobic of not being able to breathe, so i'm worried incase he can't breathe or chokes.

Lisa x

[mick_uk]

I don't think you are putting pressure on him lisa. If it went on for weeks last time, he might just need your support to get him through this bad time now. If the doc can help in some way that might ease his worries. It's never easy knowing what to do to help someone in those postions especially when you have your own problems to deal with. Have a chat with him, see what would help him the most get through this rough time but be careful not to make yourself worse in doing it. Try and get him to remember the times he felt okay when working and if there was anything he did then that he's not doing now.
Hopefully the doc will be able to give him something short term to get him working again.

take care

mick

[Lisa-Angel]

Okay Mick, I'll make sure we sit down tonight and talk it all through. We didn't talk about it much last night because i seriously thought it would be just that one time. But i will make an effort to try and actively find ways to help him cope better.
Hopefully the Doctor can give him something to stop the sickness, i think that is his main worry. If he stopped throwing up then he would be majorly less anxious. I do worry about him driving when he is like that. What if he ends up having an accident? I will have to encourage him to pull the car over when he starts to feel like his is going to be sick, instead of him trying to hold it down like he does now. It is a bit more safe that way.

Lisa xx

[Lisa-Angel]

Thanks so much for everyones support. We had a really long talk about this last night and i explained biologically why this happens, and what is going on in his body. I think he felt like his body was letting him down, but i explained it is his body trying to survive something horrible happening to it. His fight or flight response is just much more sensitive than other peoples. I think it all clicked into place for him then, and he said he really understands much more now. Plus i think he now realises that a little bit of vomit isn't going to chase me away, and is happier knowing i will stick with him through anything!
He was still very nervous this morning but managed not to get to that point where he had to be sick to relieve that anxiousness. I am so proud of him! Lets hope that tomorrow is just as good xxx