Results

[wiskersonkittens]

Over a week ago I posted about my abdominal ultrasound results and my concern about it. I had to get one because I have been having some pain between my ribs and my tummy. What was found were cysts on the liver (common), a lymph node around my stomach area (which, at the time, was noted common), and a slightly enlarged spleen. Of course I googled "enlarged spleen" and had myself motified.

Well, I had to go for a CT scan of the area and there was good news and bad news (potentially) -- The good news was all my other organs looked fine and normal (even my liver with its cyst friends). Yet, there is a relatively large lymph node near my spleen (which could be causing the enlargment, or vice versa) that NOW I have to get biopsied to err on the side of caution. My doctor isn't overly concerned -- he told me, "I know you are a worrier and I just want you to know I am not worried about this, but since it is causing you pain, it isn't something I feel we should just let go" -- because I don't have the symptoms of lymphoma (ie night sweats, fevers, weight loss . . .) and I am hoping the fact that my blood results from October, which came back perfect, is an indicator that nothing is too awry. I would imagine even then if cancer were forming, my white blood cell count would be off. Anyway, I go for an MRI this week so the surgeon can get a better look at this lymph node and know more specifically where to biopsy.

I am a little worried because I have been blessed with good health all my life and I don't know how to deal with this. Of course, the results could have been worse, but the fact they found anything at all . . . well, no doubt I feel like I am in a dream.

I can't imagine what is going on with me. I have even been more achey lately -- I am hoping more so from anxiety and muscle tension, because I feel better when I am moving around and not thinking about things-- so that concerns me. I just don't know what to think and I don't have a lot of support here. Hubby doesn't understand and is complaining to everyone how I just want to sit and worry about this (I have OCD, it's my nature). My FIL told him worry means a lack of faith, and he supports hubby by being empathetic to him -("you need some time to yourself, I know this is hard on you.")- I AM THE ONE WHO COULD HAVE CANCER, not him! And, to worry is human, especially when you find out something isn't quite right. I am not a demon child because of this. Ugh! Sorry -- that wound is still fresh.

Anyway, I just wanted to share. I am in need of hugs. Wiskers ~

[Cococj]

Chris
x

[House fan]

Hi Wiskers

Unless I am very much mistaken, Jesus Christ experienced EVERY human emotion while here on earth, which includes anxiety. His Disciples suffered very much from fear around the time of His resurrection. Fear is a normal human emotion, present in all of us at some point in our lives, and nothing you should feel guilty about, FIL or not!

If the roles were reversed, would your FIL not worry about his son's mental health? Would he not offer support, love and guidance towards him, or rather would he accuse his own son of being weak, and without faith? So much for us being made in God's own image, eh?

Recovering from anxiety is difficult enough with a supporting partner. Having a family around you that offers little help makes recovery that much more difficult. Yet it can be done, by taking small steps one day at a time, even without the support network of your family, surround yourself as much as possible with friends who can empathise with you, and are prepared to listen, without judging you.

You have a network of friends on this site who care about you, and want to help as much as possible during your recovery period, so take great comfort from that. You are going through a tough time right now Jen, but it won't always be so hard, I can promise you that!

Stay strong!

House.

[countrygirl]

I'm keeping everything crossed for your mri results. Anyone even someone who does not have ocd or health anxiety would be worried until you have been given the all clear. Keep talking to us on here we all understand your fear and will do our best for you.