The uphill bicycle climb with the brakes on.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi fellow panickers

Can anyone relate to this? I'm having a lot of trouble with my anger and feel a strong urge to take it out on certain people who have made hurtful comments or behaved toward me in unpleasant and threatening ways in the recent past.

I don't want to do this because I know I would regret it and the consequences could be unexpectedly dire. I've never been a violent person but these feelings seem so powerful and I seem to get swept up in the white heat they create

My world seems to have become so empty and I don't know how to find those things I need to make it reasonably OK again. I'm not asking for a miracle, just something to make the pain more bearable. Something which doesn't add to my catalogue of past mistakes and errors of judgement.

I've struggled so hard during the last few years. Several family catastrophes and the realisation that I shall now have to cope alone without any close family support. Ongoing feelings of loneliness and a deep sense of unhappiness with can be profoundly unsettling.

I get the impression that society expects something from me and I will be punished for showing any signs of weakness or softness.

Can anyone relate to any of this. It's all pretty random and not as comprehensive as I might wish. I just hope this world isn't as heartless as it sometimes seems to be.

[j2]

I can relate to being angry and not always feeling like you can or will be able to control it. If you are really worried that you are going to do something very violant, then please see a DR. If you are just frustrated with feelings of isolation, that I can relate to. What keeps me going is exercise and religion. I try to run and do yoga several times a week. I am also involved in my church. I am not going to tell you that church is going to fix your ills but the sense of community I get there is nice. I too have no family to lean on but I have found open minded people at my humble little church and feeling a part of this makes me feel better. Good luck

[countrygirl]

I wonder if you are being treated for depression as violent anger is quite often a symptom of depression. My husband has been depressed all his life and alot of what you say he has described - he has on a couple of occasions many many years ago been violent luckily mildy so and no action taken and it all stems from him not being able to cope with people or life. He was finally diagnosed about 7 yrs ago and put on prozac after a near suicide attempt and they think he has depression and social phobia. The prozac is literally a life saver and he is a different man - we have been married 29 yrs and I wish he had had prozac for the first 22 yrs!!!!!!!!!

As you are on health anxiety forum I assume you also worry about your health or symptoms???

I myself am not religious but can understand what the preivous poster says in that anything that is a community that you are part of makes you feel much less alone. If you are sitting at home alone when you are not working and can't face people then that is def a sign of major depression. lack of money can make doing things very difficult I know but again there are some things you can join that don't cost.

YOur post has said lots but also very little if you know what I mean. If you haven't already done so then please tell a Dr how you are feeling as you sound so much like my husband at his lowest I worry for you.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi,

Thankyou for your post but you misunderstand and your advice is based on a lack of information about me and where I'm coming from. Obviously, the limitations of this medium (posting anonymous messages which can be read by strangers) and my own lack of clarity may have contributed to this.

Like all Anti-Depressants, Prozac works for some and not for others. I'm glad it helped your husband (and you, obviously!), but it's no miracle cure and I was taking it almost 30 years ago when it was described as a kind of panacea for every problem that life throws at us. It wasn't good enough for me then and it still isn't.

Don't forget. Anti-Depressants can change the physical structure of the brain over time, just as illegal drugs can affect Mental Health if used irresponsibly. This could lead to an unacceptable departure from reality. Thankyou for your concern but I would also continue to worry about your husband because he needs to try and understand why his unhappiness led him along such a self-destructive path.

Sometimes, Doctor's can do more harm than they realise. Finding a good one who has the time and patience to listen is difficult. I keep myself busy and don't sit around all day doing nothing. Also, I do have social contacts but still need a certain amount of privacy to do what I do because I regard myself as an artist and writer. Creativity needs a certain amount of suffering if it is to have any real value.

I realise the mood of my previous post was extremely negative and thank you for making an attempt at a response but your circumstances have little connection with mine.


Take care

[countrygirl]

Thanks Allan and sorry for getting the wrong end of the stick - as you say your info was almost nil and rather negative.
I'm afraid that you have lost me regarding what your post is about but hope that someone understands and can help you.
My husband has had therapy and knows why he is like he is and I agree that prozac or any other anti d is not for everyone but in his case it works brilliantly and he is now a much happier person.
I wish you well

[Captain America]

'I'm not asking for a miracle, just something to make the pain more bearable.'
'Thankyou for your concern but I would also continue to worry about your husband because he needs to try and understand why his unhappiness led him along such a self-destructive paththank you for making an attempt at a response but your circumstances have little connection with mine.'
'Creativity needs a certain amount of suffering if it is to have any real value."

Really now...you asked for help, in a forum where many of us do suffer under similar circumstances, criticize someone for making assumptions about you, then make assumptions about her husband and even hint that she should worry about him.

Then you basically say that you need to suffer for your art.

Personally, I think countrygril was being very nice in her response to you.

[j2]

We are all suffering here and not all of us are pleasant all the time. One of the things I love most about this site is that people don't judge or belittle like so many people in the non-anxious world do to those of us that suffer daily. Anyway, we are all just wanting to get better and share with each other our suffering and our successes. Good luck to all.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi Countrygirl

Sorry from me too. I also get the wrong end of the stick at times. I was'nt feeling too good when I sent that last email
I'm glad to hear your husband has had therapy. A very courageous thing to do. As I said before, it's good to know that Prozac has worked for him.

All the best

[Quiet-Lift]

Captain America

You don't need to give me any more guilt than I already have. We all make mistakes and your post has quite a few in my opinion.

You don't have to suffer for art, but sometimes it can help

Perhaps you should consider why you felt the need to get involved and what did you get out of sending that message to me anyway?

[Quiet-Lift]

J2...

Sad to say this but you are wrong. Read Captain America's post and tell me if you still believe that people on this site don't judge or belittle.
To be honest, I'm bloody angry when some twinkie from America makes a kneejerk reaction about an exchange which really has nothing to do with him.

Like you, I want to get better also, but I don't like the idea of sharing with someone who makes judgemental and unnecessary statements which have nothing positive to contribute.

All the best