Fear of stds, please help

[Sandy12]

Hi everyone, im not sure if what I have is health anxiety or ocd - i think its ocd about health, mainly stds. Ive slept with one boyfriend, about nine years ago, before my hubby, and cant stop thinking that he passed on an std to me.
Ive been tested for all known stds and all results are fine. However am terriefied now that I must have some terrible std that has not yet been discovered and i keep waiting to hear about it on the news. But that would mean the std would have been around for at least nine years - surely it would have been discovered by now? Does that sound ridiculous to everyone or not?
Also since it was on the news about mad cow disease been transmitted thru blood transfusions am now terrified that it can also be an std. Have researched it and everything says 'no evidence' for it being transmitted sexually, however am worried that soon they will have the evidence that it can be. am scared :( I dont worry about catching it from bad beef, its just the thought of catching it from ex.
Am I just been completely irrational? please help if you can. I have a three month old baby girl and so much just want to enjoy her without thinking these thoughts all the time :(

[lauren6]

Sandy, hypothetically, there could be thousands of yet undiscovered diseases. We can't worry, especially in your case, you don't have any symptoms of an STD. There is a reason that you're focusing on that in particular. Could there be some remorse or guilt about having slept with someone other than your husband? That's common with STD fear.

In answer to your question, yes, it is irrational but for those with health anxiety, we are often irrational. We know it on an intellectual level but because of our makeup, it's hard to believe it. You have to make your logic win. I don't know what the key is in your case but I hope you can read some of the books suggested in the threads here, specifically about health anxiety. They really help.

Do you have any clue as to why you think you have an STD despite negative tests? Also, please know that except for chlamydia which can be silent for a long time, the other STDs have definite symptoms. I assume you got tested for chlamydia...if not, get that done to clear your head, then forget this...it's unfounded. TRY TRY TRY to use your logic. Be strong and let it win!

[Sandy12]

I do think thats what it is, I wish i hadnt slept with anyone before my husband as he was a virgin when I met him, I wish that I had been too - we have such a lovely relationship and now a beautiful baby girl and I just worry all the time that I must have passed on some horrid std to both of them :( Doctors, midwives all have told me nothing to worry about, its all in my head, but it just seems so real to me :(

[lauren6]

Sandy, I'm not a psychologist but spent most of my career doing counseling as well as STD counseling. As I said in the other post, guilt is so often the reason that women focus on this and they feel in some way that they should be punished for their past. Recognizing that this is the reason is the first step to dropping the issue and going on with your life. I don't think getting more tests will help you, definitely not dwelling on yet undiscovered diseases as this is just feeding into your needing to find something because you feel you deserve to have gotten something.

Unfortunately, women are raised this way more than men and I have felt like you, wish I could undo some of my past. I am sure if makes it harder because your husband was a virgin but he loves you as you are..if he knows, he still married you and let's face it, there aren't maybe female virgins around these days. You didn't mention if he knows that you had a previous partner so I hope that isn't an issue for him. It's great that you have a child together. I hope you can work this out and let the past be what it was...you didn't commit a crime, you didn't do anything most women didn't do. Try to let it go and if you feel you need some counseling, go for it, it might help.

[Lel]

Hi there, my health anxiety actually started with the same problem, except that I did actually contract one minor, very curable std, but that made me absolutely paranoid and anxious about HIV and the rest. I developed major guilt and analyzed every single possible symptom I could have to the point where I didn't sleep at night and finally resolved that if I had AIDS I would move to africa and volunteer my time with other AIDS victims until I passed away. I did all this while waiting for my test results and worked myself into the biggest panic of my life (which then spiralled into hypochondria). Being on the other side of it now here are my suggestions:

Stop googling anything and go to a clinic to have a full std screening done. After all my nerves, it turned out that I was 100% fine. It took me a while to trust the results, but my mother (who is a doctor) forced me to. A blood test will tell you once and for all if you have anything and then you can be at ease. And I'm pretty sure if it was 9 years ago that, in the cases of most std's and the most harmful ones, you would've been suffering the consequences by now. Please try not to worry and just get tested so that you rationally have a reason not to stress yourself over it any longer. It's not OCD it's just health anxiety.