Hi everyone,

I've not been on here in a while as I was doing pretty well for a couple of months back there. Seemed to have figured out how to not let the anx feelings bother me, and suddenly it seemed like the world had colour again. The bad thoughts were still there, but I just let them be, didn't pick at them, and got on with my life. I was sociable again, and enjoyed doing stuff. I even bought an SLR camera as there were so many things I wanted to capture.

Unfortunately, last week I made the mistake of getting very drunk and crying a lot on my friend. I made a totaly idiot of myself. She wasn't impressed and the whole incident has sent me spiralling down again. I feel like I've lost my new-found confidence and don't know how to regain it. And quite frankly the thought of having to start all over again makes me want to scream. I feel like my head is going to explode with all the scary thoughts rattling around in it at the moment, and I just don't know how to move on.

I feel like I am hell bent on feeling worse, and don't understand why I'm so self-destructive. Does anyone else ever feel like this is the case with them?

Sorry to rant, I just needed it!

Sarah xx