Try But Huband Puts Me Down

[gypsywomen]

yesterday felt good so set to cleaning cupoards ,washing, not that house needs it , anyway normal for me to go to bed for 4 as awake most night,,but last night made him great tea and dressed up waited for him comming home,as he walked up the drive he looked up at my window ,we dont sleep together he used to beat me ,,anyway when he saw they were open his face hit the floor...he said hope you havent cooked me tea ,,i showed him, i dont want that\\\\ why you not in bed ,,we had a big row ,,so i panicked run to my room,,where this is leading is, to day having very bad thoughts and anxcity,its as thou he wants me to be this way he knows what buttons to push,, he can control me you see,,do you think this is why i am so bad today,,it hurts tried so hard to be my old self, and now cant be bothered i feel so sad crying writing this ,,my dear friends god bless ,

[trish1955]

aww bless you like we dont feel bad enough with our anxiety we dont need putting down more we can do that how selfs i realy need to ask why you still with this man who prob put you were you are today i do understand why you think he like you to be low and depend on him i always say i feel trapped in my marrige as i am agraphobic as well as panic and anxiety all it does is add more pressure on us i to sit here waiting for some one to wave a magic wand and tell me what to do when we both no its only us that can make the choice easier said than done but take care trishxx

[gypsywomen]

trish thank you yes i have left before but somehow always come back and yes he did this to me,,my docter said i suffer with post trumatic stress syndrome from all i have sufferd at his hands,,he is so insecure he needs me even just to put me down, it makes him feel a man ,,i was always a strong person ,but it wore me down ,,and now i feel worthless ,do you know in all the years i have known him he has never let me have a night out never ,,so you see i am trapped ,he said if i ever leave him again he would kill me

[amandaj]

sounds like he needs help badly he cant treat you like this,have you been to the police? thats not life its just exisiting for you how horrilbe it must be

[gypsywomen]

its hell with this as well you can imagine but i am not strong to leave at the min wish i was.i just go to bed before he gets home i have pains everywhere today is this due to anxity please

[trish1955]

o to blame myself for not leaving i say what you say i am not strong enough or maybe when i am cured of my panic axiety or agaphobia i will leave i ave been married 22 yrs i did live apart from him for 4 yrs but still let him bk in yr 2000 when i was at a all time low looseing my dad and in all honesty i ave been at my worse for the past 9ys does that tell me something before you no it yrs go by and we get weaker not stronger any way hun chin up bet you feel a little better knowing yr not alone bye for now trish xx

[suzy-sue]

He sounds a vile man .Men like that usually have a problem with self esteem.They act like that because it makes them feel good about themselves ..Im afraid id put rat poison in his dinner ..Your pains are just anxiety and its hardly suprising with what you are forced to put up with from him .Get well and keep thinking of the day you pack your bags and leave him for good .You deserve so much better .Life is too short .Hugs to you ,stay strong luv Sue xx

[mick_uk]

Hiya,
I agree with sue,it makes him feel good to treat you like that. It's not easy getting out of a relationship like that,but you don't deserve to be treated like that. I hope you get strong enough to leave.

take care

mick

[SueBee]

Lovely you shouldnt have to live like this. As long as you're living in the same house with him you'll always feel too weak to leave - he'll make sure of that.

Have you been in touch with Womens Aid? You can contact them just for advice or if you are in danger they can find you somewhere safe to stay.

Abuse doesnt have to be physical, often its the psychological torment that does the more damage and Womens Aid understand this.

Its not right that you have to be in your room at a certain time just to avoid him- you must feel like a prisoner!

Have a look at the website anyway or just give them a ring for advice

http://www.womensaid.org.uk

Best of luck and take care

Sue
x

[Anxious_gal]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/..._ya_oh_product

this book has a big chapter about abusive relationships.
you try to please him to avoid arguments. I know he has broken down your self worth and self esteem.
when he;s nice to you it probably makes you feel very very good so you keep trying to please him, you also try to please him to avoid arguments.
he doesn't respect you, you know you deserve better.
you need to love yourself alot in order to gain the strength to leave.

I dated a man that was emotionally abusive, thank god he broke up with me.
He took all my self confidence with him, but i eventually got it back.
I find my anxiety is much worse if I'm around mean people, I'm just anticipating arguments.........
see I think he reacted badly because you change, you did something you may not usually do, you weren't in bed at your usual time.......
you try and do something nice and he reacts with nastiness.
his reaction is not your fault.
but by trying to please him and maybe being submissive, and not standing up to him (I know he may reacted very badly if you did that) and also by staying with, you are letting him him use you and rob you of your own happiness.
I don't know much about abuse and this is only my opinion, i hope it's helps or at least makes you buy the book which i think will at least help a small bit.
stay safe x