i could just take an overdose right now thats how bad i feel, mum and dad told me to stop moaning when i got home all i said was that hadnt happened by accident, (ie next doors kids aged 12yrs and 16yrs) had thrown one of those spinning things you skip over on your legs, hitting my dahlias and another piece on other side of the garden, dad said stop moaning, i made o ne comment, mum said they only kids, they are always upto no good, when i was 12years old i had respect for other people and their property

its me whose spent money making the garden nice and growing things from scratch, and spent my time out nuturing it all, and im made to feel worthless by my mum and dad, lik ethey dont appreciate it, i might as well have thrown my money down the drain, but doing the garden has kept me going through bad times, if it wasn't for this hobby or my pets i doubt id be here right now

had a panic attack at doctors as they been getting worse, was going to have my favourite cheese pie and beans for my tea but now no appetite im soo upset
i took 4 laxatives don't know why i wanted to take more of my prescription promazine again like earlier in year, knew that if i did i may have them taken away from me again and i cant go a day without one promazine tablet in particular, if i dont have it im out of control with depression and anxiety, it keeps me more sane
and i did take one more venlafaxine pill i take and i am only meant to take 3 of them daily, think thats highest they can go upto

ontop of all this got my pets urine sample results back from vets he is in kidney failure which we knew but i have to prepare for him to be leaving me soon now, i did think he would of gone months back but he's fought, i don't want to lose him, but if he shows signs of suffering will have him pts, but i would like him just to fall asleep i think then he wont know