Hi everyone, im so glad that ive found this site. I thought nobody could feel as bad as i do, its great to know that im not the only one ( i dont mean that in a bad way !)
I started having panic attacks nearly 2 years ago I did something very stupid one night when i was out clubbing, i took some ecstasy pills. My life has never been the same since. It felt like a good idea at the time ( i was drunk) and as everyone was doing it and they seemed fine i thought why not ! Soon after taking them i felt dreadful, i went outside the club convinced i was dying and begged a policeman to call an ambulance, the policeman tried to calm me down saying that it was probaly a panic attack but by then i struggling to breath, i had a pain in my chest and i was convinced i was dying, i said goodbye to my partner and he was in tears, it felt like i was dying. An ambulance arrived and took me to hospital, they couldnt do anything for me, they said that it was just a panic attack and they had to monitor me til the drugs had worn off, i was in hospital for about 12 hours and all this time i felt like if i didnt consentrate on my breathing then i would just stop and die. To cut a long story short i have never been the same since. I am convinced that i damage my heart that night as i get frequent pains in my chest as im constantly tired and depressed. My doctor has tried to assure me that im fine and healthy and they are just panic attacks but i dont believe him. I dont understand how a panic attack can cause so much pain and make me feel so ill all the time, im constantly dreadind the next one and sometimes they happen without warning, yesterday i was making our tea and i got a sudden sharp pain in my chest which made me have a painc attack, it was awful. Ive been put on citalopram for my panic attacks and depression but so far they dont seem to be working. My life is hell, i just want to be a 'normal' 28 year old women who doesnt worry about dying everyday xxx