I've always been a bit obbsessed with my health. It started very young when I was convinced I had a brain tumour (someone in my family died of a brain tumour and I used to hear about it when I was younger). But my anxieties have progressively got worse - I have intestinal problems which I was just given IBS for. I've been to the doctors for countless other things to the point where the doctor basically told me if I came back he was sending me to a psychiatrist. I'm also only 18.

My latest fear has been worse than ever. For about a month I was having heart palpitations and chest pains - then the anxiety about ended up with my heart constantly beating at about 100 a minute. It culminated in a panic attack after about a month. I eventually went to the doctors (I had been unable to because I was abroad) and she ran all the tests, even gave me a 24 hour ecg. Everything came back normal and she said it's just anxiety/stress. For about a week after everything came back normal I felt great. But now I've slowly started to have heart worries again. I'm also getting twitching, tingling all over my body and feeling constantly weak and shaky so obviously I've convinced myself I have some kind of degenerative disease and that by 20 I'll be unable to walk or talk or that I am going to fall down dead any minute because this is just a sign of massive internal bleeding or something.

I can't go back to the doctor. She told me when I feel anxiety to try to think about something else but it's not so easy. I'm moving away from home in a month and I'm scared it's just going to get worse and worse. I'm getting worse not better. I dread to think what I'll be like in a couple of years time if this carries on. I do worry about other things - random attacks, being murdered, having a car crash, being hit by a car etc. etc. but my health anxieties are the most overpowering.

This is very long and I'm not sure why I posted but I'm just so totally sick of it. I try to tell myself it's just anxiety, it's all in my head but every morning I wake up and I'm surprised to be still alive. I have massive difficulty getting to sleep because I'm convinced I'm going to die and I feel as though there is constant adrenaline pumping through my body. I also get a feeling that comes over me, it starts in my chest and spreads through my body making me feel weak - is this an adrenaline rush? I just don't want to feel like this anymore, my family treat it almost as a joke and I don't dare tell anyone else how I'm feeling. I'm young and I have my life ahead of me but I'm ruining it by constantly ruining it. I hardly drink alcohol (too dangerous, very bad for my health), don't eat much because I feel constantly sick and don't go out all that much - especially after dark. I just want to have fun like everyone else my age, instead I spend my time at home sitting in my room worrying and googling my symptoms (bad habit, I know)