Intrusive/scary thoughts

[orchid]

Hi all,

I could do with a little empathy and advice from some fellow anxiety-sufferers. I have had on and off periods of general anxiety for a number of years but mostly when I have stressful things (good and bad!) going on in my life. At these times the thing that 'tips me over' into full-on anxiety is when I get scared that there's something terribly and inherently wrong with me like OCD/depression/some other mental affliction. Of course, when I get scared these fears just stick and repeat and intrude and so on, which in my head just confirms them, a self-fulfilling prophecy!

One thing I'm really trying to understand is whether scary/upsetting/intrusive/repetitive thoughts are just part and parcel of general anxiety or whether they are always something more? In particular, are they always indicative of OCD? I don't think I have any compulsions other than ruminating, but is that just part of general anxiety too?

I have some good coping mechanisms for anxiety that have worked for me in the past, mainly a combination of mindfullness, de-stressing my life where possible and living life to the full. This has worked wonders - the anxiety dissipates and the scary thoughts fade and vanish or are desensitised. I have had long periods of freedom so I know it works, at least as long as I can keep it up!

But when stress mounts up again the thoughts and anxiety can come back. So what I'm trying to understand is, does this mean I have an underlying problem that needs some kind of intensive, expensive and time-consuming therapy? Or am I doing just fine but am human so can slip sometimes, and should have faith in my current techniques, just keep practicing them?

To be honest, this question is the main thing that gets in the way of my 'recovery' each time I have an anxious spell, so I'd love to be able to start to put it to bed! When I get a new anxious thought/spell it lasts about as long as I worry about it and whether I'm treating it right, and then when I stop this and get on with implementing my techniques I get better. I guess it's just the fact that it can come back again that makes me think 'I haven't cured it, this doesn't work, there must be something seriously wrong with me!'

Maybe I'm looking for an elusive cure when management is the correct option, and if I can do that already I should trust in that and carry on. Maybe I know the answers to my questions already but just need a bit of moral support?!! I guess a lot of this is tied up with worry, perfectionism and anxious thinking, but I just so want to do the right thing!

So what do you all think? Can you relate to this at all? And what advice would you give me?

Many thanks and much love to all fellow-sufferers! x

[JohnLuke300]

Hi Orchid,

Yes I can pretty much relate to everything you are saying. Intrusive and repetitive thoughts are common amongst all types of anxiety sufferers. The OCD sufferers tend to have it worse because the mechanism in the brain that says 'enough is enough' is not quite working as well as it does in the rest of us. Not that it works that well for us either .

It is possible to have suppressed feelings that can create anxiety, but having read you post you seem very knowledgeable about anxiety. You appear to to understand the mechanisms that contribute to it, and the coping strategies to combat it. We all slip up from time to time and anxiety will always raise its ugly head. The important thing is that we keep practicing good coping techniques and the anxiety should become manageable.

I think you know all this though and it is natural to doubt yourself. Just be patient and continue what you have been doing because you are definitely on the right path.

And remember you are not alone.

John

[orchid]

Thanks John. I think I know what you mean about the anxiety/ocd difference. It's subtle but true.

With me I know I CAN ignore the worries and get on with life but feel kind of guilty, as if my brain is nagging me to pay attention to them 'because it's really important! don't ignore this, that's cheating!'

Too often I've given in, been seduced into worrying when I really don't need to, trying to solve the non-existent problem, when actually I should think, 'sod that! I'm not going to, so there!' and just get on with things as I want to. It's hard to do when you feel anxious, but it is the right thing, and I should do it. Trust my instincts, not my doubts!

I'm actually feeling a bit cross with myself at the moment for allowing myself to get seduced down that route again recently. When I was doing well I allowed myself to get sucked into the 'oh, but you're just ignoring the problem, there's something wrong with you like OCD and you need to fix it, probably with lots of intensive and expensive therapy', which of course totally depressed me and went against all the evidence that I was getting better anyway and all that was a load of unnecessary worry! Gah!

Thing is, you're right, I do understand it, but that doesn't mean I'm not immune to it. I guess my experiences serve as both proof that anxiety can be overcome/managed and a warning that it's always there lurking, ready to trick you again. What I am learning, though, is that each time now, even if it's scary at first, it's shorter and easier to manage each time because I know more about it and it can't get to me as badly - it's like the Wizard of Oz, or all mouth and no trousers!

[krog]

Hi there,

I think the key is as you pointed out.
Time is the ultimate healer. That and experience of being an anxiety sufferer.
I have found that as time passes, my anxiety symptoms and feelings are still the same, but I am building up a kind of resistance to their effects.

Thats not to say that I still cant be scared to death of them at times, especially the 'mental' symptoms, but by and large I am learning to live with my illness and day by day becoming slightly more immune to the grip it has had on me these past few years.

Take care,
krog.

[meg86]

Hello

I know how you feel, the scary thoughts is my least favorite anxiety symptom, some days are better than others but most mornings i wake up with a feeling a fear in my stomach, i know its anxiety but it doesnt feel natural to ignore this feeling so i create an explanation which is usually, the end of the world or i have cancer or something really bad is going to happen!

I always feed the first fear and ruin my day :(

I wish i could get around this its so hard because it doesnt feel natural to ignore the anxious feeling, i need a explanation, i start CBT next month i hope it helps its ruining my life :(

Take Care xxx

[phil06]

I'm really suffering at the moment where the negative thoughts "bang" my head all day or they pop up like a scary person in front of you. I keep questioning, doubting, worrying over health, sanity, future.

In my average day I've not had a clear head for more than one hour. I know when I don't think about it I feel normal but I'm battling hard. I just want to feel myself again rather live in fear of anxiety.

[Crush]

Hi all,
One thing I'm really trying to understand is whether scary/upsetting/intrusive/repetitive thoughts are just part and parcel of general anxiety or whether they are always something more? In particular, are they always indicative of OCD? I don't think I have any compulsions other than ruminating, but is that just part of general anxiety too?

Yes. Disturbing thoughts is what anxiety is all about. But there's also a lot more. When you have anxiety you'll get a touch of everything - depression, ocd, mania and disturbing thoughts. but these will be at low amounts. You might even think you heard a voice, see something out of the corner of your eye, or be very paranoid. And yes you might have disturbing sexual thoughts too that aren't characteristic of you.

You'll experience the same thought or phrase always coming into your head. It might even be a silly phrase. That's a touch of OCD.

You might experience pacing back and forth wondering what to do next as thoughts run through your head then on impulse go out and buy something for yourself to make yourself feel better.. that's a touch of mania.

This is very normal. Your mind is in a hightened alert state so you will dream up fantastic things and stories that could contain negative outcomes so you can protect yourself for the worse.

So instead of walking into a mall and shopping, you start to be afraid that something might happen to you in there and it wont be easy to escape and then you now have agoraphobia. This is your SUBCONCIOUS mind giving you these thoughts. And they are very difficult to control. Thus you have a cycle of worry. You are worrying over worrying.

The medication stops these thoughts and puts you on the right path to getting better.

Let's put it this way. Anxiety is ultimatly all about your thoughts even though we are more prone to it, it still requires us have negative thoughts. That's why medication plays such an important role in getting better.