So, I've been freaking myself out the past few days over a myriad of things, but all mainly brought about by my noticing several bumps on the back of my skull, near where my skull meets my neck. I'd never noticed them before; it feels like one big, oddly shaped bump with a smaller bump attached to it. I also have a noticle ridge-like bump a bit higher up and on my left side; I have a similar ridge on the right, but much smaller and less pronounced.
I of course turned to Google and found all the zillions of cancers I could have. I immediately set about to try and find if it had spread, or been caused by something else, etc. I haven't really had symptoms that couldn't be explained by stress/anxiety, but of course every symptom could also be explained by something else. I've had a very clogged-feeling right ear and have been massaging my right jaw/neck alot (I grind my teeth in my sleep, so there's usually a lot of tension there). I've had a loss of appetite/feeling full after small meals, though this has only happened since I discovered the bumps so I'm sure it's just anxiety-related.
I'm just feeling like a nervous wreck lately, and really afraid of the C word. I'm in the process of moving to Canada from the US, and as such I have no health insurance. I have to get my immigration physical in the next few weeks, but it can take awhile for them to get results. I'm so unsure if I'm just freaking myself out and the lumps are just a normal part of my head I'm just noticing, or if my fear is justified and I should just go to a doc and pay the out-of-pocket expense. Money is VERY tight (again, moving to a new country) and I'm already going to have to dip into debt to get the physical.
The main things that are scaring me is that 1) they're skull tumors, or 2) they're malignant lymph nodes. My father got lymphoma at my age (22, he was 21), so I'm not filled with enthusiasm about anything right now. I'd like to be able to convince myself that it's nothing and I shouldn't worry, but then I imagine what would happen if it turned out my worst fears were correct! I'm afraid that a bad diagnosis would destroy my life, even if it wasn't terminal. Ever since my first panic attack 1.5 years ago, I've become more and more worried about my health. Any help, advice or reassurance would be great. I feel like I'm either losing my mind or else I must be actually be sick. Thanks in advance.
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think about when you see a tiny baby
