really need someone to talk to

[mila]

Hello,

Is there any girls out there that suffered with panic while pregnant? I could really do with having a chat with someone. It's been so hard, i've been having panic attacks again, and panicking over things all the times, all worries of course related to pregnancy, keep thinking of all the things that can go wrong, whatever i feel i straight away think something is wrong. It's like it has been ages ago when my panic and health anxiety started, last week or so i hardly had any time free from at least thinking about the symptoms i'm having. Since i started feeling dizzy and faint i've been again scared to be by myself, to go out, to just get up in the morning, it's been so long since i felt like that. I feel a funny thing anything, i freeze in panic. Like last night i thought i was feeling like my head is pulsating or something, i was clinching to my pillow in fear trying hard to just relax and try to fall asleep. I went out yesterday with my OH, i stayed to do the washing at the laundry, which means i was standing but not all the time, i walked to meet my bf in town which is not that far when i finished, by that time my legs started feeling like i have been on my feet all day, of course i was panicking, probably clinching them even more trying to root myself to the ground not to fall over. Today the back of my knees and calfs are still hurting me, i keep looking at them looking for swelling or something, sometimes i think maybe some area is redish and that's it, i am going out of my mind, when i look again in a different light and they look ok i start proding them and when i see the area where i press becomes whiter for a second after i get worried if that means something. I hope i don't sound too loopy with this, i do hope i can find a way to get this under control, i am seeing my mw on friday so talking with her will hopefully help, but i need some calming till then please, so if there's anyone, please, help me ... THANKS

[Veronica H]

So sorry you are feeling like this Milly. Tell the midwife all about your panic anxiety. The changes in your hormones will probably send your panic anxiety up but try to remember that this is the reason and that you must not fear it or let your thoughts about other illnesses take a hold on you. I hope you get more replies from others who understand this. It is a long time since i was pregnant my son is now 17. Feel free to chat to me though whenever you need to.

Veronicax

[mila]

I hope you get more replies from others who understand this. It is a long time since i was pregnant my son is now 17. Feel free to chat to me though whenever you need to.

Veronicax

Veronica, thank you so much, i was so happy i got a reply, i hope i get more too...

I will try to tell midwife everything, i can't wait to see her really. I am just scared i will be like other appointments, like it's all in a hurry and i always forget something or feel very uncomfortable if i have too many questions to say it all if i feel that they r in a hurry.
I was little better this morning even though i had to get up early which made me worry i will feel more faint when i get up. But that didn't last long, this afternoon i suddenly felt it coming over me again, faintness and panic straight after, and now i am still scared... Especially as my partner was leaving for a night shift meaning i'll be alone... I wish i could just be stronger or something

[Madeleine]

Hey Millie,

I am not pregnant and haven't had children, but I am so sorry you feel this way. I think you ARE strong to be pregnant and managing your panic, cos no matter how you feel, you are still managing it. Can you go in the chatroom tonight?

Madeleine.x

[gypsywomen]

my daughter is pregnant rings me in middle of the night with same symptoms as you,,, she gets s scared ,i went with er to the doctors they told her it was normal to get these feelings not everyone gets them ,,but some do its your hormones changing don't know how far on you are,,if not far they will wear off be sure of that .other women get bad morning sickness ,i will tell you what i told my daughter try not to worry,, if you feel panic attack coming n blow into a paper bag lt will help my daughter ,,love margaret

[mila]

Awww, Madeleine, thank you so much for saying that. I sometimes just think to myself God i can't believe i am actually doing this, it's happening, cause i was always so scared of pregnancy and all the complications it can bring.

[mila]

my daughter is pregnant rings me in middle of the night with same symptoms as you,,, she gets s scared ,i went with er to the doctors they told her it was normal to get these feelings not everyone gets them ,,but some do its your hormones changing don't know how far on you are,,if not far they will wear off be sure of that .other women get bad morning sickness ,i will tell you what i told my daughter try not to worry,, if you feel panic attack coming n blow into a paper bag lt will help my daughter ,,love margaret

Hi Margaret, your daughter is lucky to have you , my mom is really far away plus she is not supportive of this pregnancy anyway, so she doesn't even wanna talk about it, so i feel quite alone, it's still different when you have a woman around that has once been pregnant and who you can talk to and call at anytime if you need her ...

[mila]

Well, i better just continue writing here instead of posting another tread, hopefully someone will read ...
I had the long awaited appointment with the midwife today and of course my midwife was off sick!!! i saw some other one.
My biggest worry was the faintness and blood pressure, today it was 118/68 even though i had plenty of reason to be real anxious at the appointment, i'll explain very soon , but i did kept myself quite calm really. I was pleased with that measurement, telling myself that means that the faintness can actually be from low bp, it might be even lower than that value if there was at all any effect of my worries on it.
Now on the worries lol i was doing my legs and suddenly i noticed that the inside of one thigh looks bit more full than the other one, no difference in color or something just it seems fuller, tighter, don't know how to put it really. My brain starts screaming swelling, dvt, what is it?????? Well how good i am seeing the midwife otherwise i'd go mental. Then i was going to collect my urine sample, prepare it for the appointment. When i did it was cloudy, which i never saw before, another freak out, but the major freak out comes when i left it to stand for a while and all the cloudedness settled at the bottom, like some white stuff, i was like OMG what is this, let me get one more sample to take. The other one was clear, but of course cause it's after drinking lots of water i kept thinking this one's diluted, can't really rely on that. Although the other one wasn't the first one that day either. When i showed the midwife the urine she wasn't phased at all, she started saying some explanations, like when it's hot or something, which didn't make much sense, she took the clear one to test with the stick, but she only dipped, looked straight away without giving it some time before reading what it says!!! i thought that was just too quick. Nothing there she said. I made her test the other sample as well, she did it the same quick way, and said that one's fine too! I mean was it really fine?? Than about the legs, she looked at them and said they look the same to her. But she measured them. When she did that she readjusted the tape when she was measuring the second leg, i felt like she did that so they would measure the same, but she didn't really measure them at the same place, if u know what i mean. I sound paranoid to myself typing this...
Just can't stop worrying she didn't pay enough attention to my urine or thinking about my thigh...

[nervousnikki]

hi millie,

You are doing so well. You are actually creating a life which is something you have been scared of. All of us with anx know we should face our fears and you actually are. Well done.

I have a daughter and she is my world.all through my pregnancy i was petrified that some thing bad was gonna happen. I never suffered with morning sickness but like you every new feeling was so so frightening. I inspected my body daily for signs of anything going wrong with me or the baby. Every day i found something new. i worried that when i had baby that i would have postnatal depression.

In nov 2001 i went into labour, oh it was the biggest relief cos it was over! When i had given birth the midwife told me that if i had 20 kids i could have them all with her cos it was a lovely birth. It was. I just wish i could have relaxed and enjoyed my pregnancy, enjoyed those little flutters inside, the swollen ankles and fingers and every other change my body naturally went through.

Dont have regrets like me. i wished my pregnancy away i should have enjoyed it. I didn't have postnatal dep either. All those worries and i got was a beautiful little girl who pooed on the midwife the moment she left my body lol.

I understand 100% what you are feeling and it is natural for anx to b heightened as your hormones change. I wish you a lovely pregnancy

x nikki