A little confused

[Joellie]

Im so confused at how im feeling right now its ridiculous!

Im having anxiety over my relationship and future plans with my boyfriend for no reason, i've found a useful thread on here in the general anxiety section to do with this and its reassured me loads that its not ME doubting the relationship its anxiety on overload!

Ive always been really over thoughtful about everything and this is just taking it too far!

Im not sure though but i think my depression is coming through my anxiety aswell, I keep having random "bad hours" where il just either doubt my relationship with 100 what ifs and do i still love him and am i happy when i know full well that when this phase goes im perfectly happy and i wonder why i could ever doubt my love for him. But sometimes these hours arent based on that they are just the feeling of anxiety with no point, i wont be thinking of anything yet the feeling remains and i think this is the depression coming through.

Does anyone have any experiance of this kind of thing or any advice? My boyfriends supportive, i feel like im arguing with anxiety and that the only way anxiety will win is if i dump my boyfriend and that wont ever happen. Thats how i can tell its not me because at the end of it all i dont want to leave him, if it was me doubting him then i wouldnt feel that way!

[marie1974]

hi hun, just want to send you huge hugs and sometimes anxiety can b a terrible thing and make u think such irrational thoughts.

sometimes if we been hurt in the past, let down etc, its difficult to see past hurt and anything in our life that is happy we kinda clam up and think wooow this cant b right, i have been like that and i usually end up so anxious and waiting for it to all go wrong that i spoil the moment.

i would just say try hard to keep busy, esp when anxious and enjoy what u 2 have together.

i had depressin yrs back and exercise for me cured my depression, power walking every day etc, it took few months but made me much more positive and motivated and generally happier. hugzzzzzzzzzz xx

[Joellie]

Thanks Yeah im just worried im going to ruin my life by ruining my relationship with him in the future.

Ive always felt positive about my future with him, marriage and kids and all but the last few weeks the thought of christmas makes the feelings come on and theres no reason at all. I sure want to be with him forever, but i think about "am i going to be at his for christmas" i get the feelings of anxiety and i feel sick and guilty for thinking that we might not be because of me.

I just try to make him understnad that im only feeling this because of the stupid anxiety and not him