sub therapeutic?

[chickpea]

I saw my GP yesterday, as I had a terrible day on Friday (all-day panic) and she wanted me to discuss things with her.
The first thing she said that I was sub therapeutic - in other words, that the 10mg I'm on is too low for anyone "but frail, little old ladies".

I'm confused. She wants things to stabilise before increasing my dose - and then she suggests alternating 10mg with 20mg.
In the meantime, she's given me a script for diazepam (which I'm determined not to resort to if I can possibly help it).

How will I know when I've stabilised? If the point of increasing the dose is to deal with the anxiety, why wait until the anxiety has subsided for several days on the trot?

I've been taking the 10mg for 3 weeks now and feel ok - not brilliant, but apart from the anxiety, the SE's have gone.

Any ideas?

[Joellie]

Hmm well i was told to use 10mg for 1 week then just go to the 20mg. Not sure whether you need to stablise because the change will throw you off whether or not your stable. Well thats not fact but thats what i would have thought!

Hmm Maybe call the surgery and just ask them?

[i_used_to_be_fine]

hello.

may i ask how long you have been on the 10mg doseage?

[chickpea]

I've been taking 10mg for 3 weeks.
I had awful side effects at first, but they seemed to subside.
Then, last week, I had a couple of bad days of anxiety, followed by a good day, followed by a terrible day on Friday.
Since then, I've been ok - I'm trying hard to help myself by positive thinking, deep breathing, reading a CBT book etc.

Before I started on the medication, I would say I was suffering from GAD - just stressed and irritable. My anxiety has definitely increased in the last 3 weeks, that's for sure. My GP thinks that it's me, not the citalopram...but doesn't want me to up the dose until I stabilise.

[Joellie]

Well i dont understand lol sorry i dont mean you i mean your doc! Anxiety is a citalopram side effect, saying its you is a bit harsh! And i think that your not going to get anymore stable than you are now on 10mg.

[i_used_to_be_fine]

Hey Chickpea. . .

My heart is with you.

I too have been prescribed citalopram and maybe i have been through the same sort of things you are going through. It does improve, please stick with it for a little longer. . .

I think your doctor is right to advise that you stabilise on 10mg for some time before assesing whether 20mg is the next step. It may not be, 10mg may be good for you. I hope it is.

My journey with Citalopram is (hopefully) over now. I have been weaning myself off it since January and took my last one 3 weeks ago.

You're 3 weeks in - i'm 3 weeks out. . .having been on citalopram for the best part of 3.5 years i can say the (for me) coming off is every bit as difficult as it was at the beginning - my side effects are similar and i really feel for you.

Stay strong.

[chickpea]

Thanks, I-used-to-be.

I have now had a run of 5 good days and actually feel like I'm getting somewhere.
I haven't felt anywhere near bad enough to take Diazepam, and last night, I didn't take a sleeping pill either - didn't sleep brilliantly, but there was no panic.

I'd love to think 10mg was enough for me. I've ordered some Omega 3 and vitamin B complex today, and I'm working my way through a CBT book.

My sister has been on a variety of anti d's for the last 20 years or so, and I saw my dad end up on a psychiatric ward, so I am determined to beat this before it gets too bad.

I'm really sorry that you are having to go through it all again to come of the tablets - that must be quite dispiriting. Can I ask what dose you were on back in January, and whether you are coming off them because you feel well? Also, have you had any other kind of therapy/self-help/supplements?

I hope the withdrawal effects are soon a distant (unpleasant) memory.
x

[Joellie]

What book are you reading chickpea? I was looking for a good one but i have no idea where to start!

[i_used_to_be_fine]

Hi again Chickpea.

Following my dads suicide I started using citalopram 3.5 years ago. First i was on 10mg, then 20, then 40mg. After 9 months or so i thought i was fine and just stopped taking them overnight. Cold turkey.Big mistake. I selfishly just stayed off them for about 6 months and then started again because I was still no better. So again I began by using 10mg, 20mg then finally 40mg over a few months.

I was on 40mg a day for ages, a year/18months. . .something like that. So having spent all of 2008 at that level of medication and feeling that my particular problem was as dealt with as much as it could ever be I decided, along with the help of my wife and doctor to very gradually decrease the doseage. . .

So from january 2009 i have went from 40mg to 30mg. . . no significant problems here. 30mg to 20mg around March was a nightmare. Dunno why but a totally different experience from the 40 to 30 drop. I was a bit shellshocked by this so i didn't reduce to 10mg until July. This time it was OK(ish) and finally once the kids went back to school 3 and a bit weeks ago i dropped down to zero. . .which again has been very hard to acclimatise to. But 3 and a half weeks in and i think i am starting to feel 'normal' again but it's too ealry to say.

I have to report that i found therapy to be frustrating and worthless for me. The therapist only ever had one question no matter what i said. 'and how does that make you feel. . ?' she would ask. No matter what i said. 'and how does that make you feel. . ?' (i only mentioned that for once I managed to find a car parking space!).

Oh i must be coming back to normal, my sarcastic side is shining through again.

One thing that was good for me was a self help group who dealt with bereavement by suicide. Naturally it wasn't a barrel of laughs but on the couple of occasions i did pitch up it was. . .(not sure what word to use here) . . .wierdly comforting to know there were other people in my particular boat and i was not alone in my grief/depression.

I could have done more to help myself so keep up with the reading etc. if you have the energy.

Well that's me. . .that's my little journey for the last few years. Have you suffered from any mental health problems in the past or has something specific triggered your problems. . .just curious. Feel free to ignore moe, i wont be offended.

[chickpea]

Gosh, you really have had a tough time. I'm so sorry about all you've been through with your dad - so, so sad...and very tough, I imagine, when suicide is such a taboo subject for many people.

My problems have built up over a long time and I simply failed to recognise the signs.
22 months ago, I was carjacked at knifepoint, at night, while driving on my own. There followed a long, drawn-out court process, during which time the bloke who attacked me was released on bail...only to do it again to some other poor lone female. (he had 7 previous convictions from 12 offences).
Finally, he was sentenced to 2.5 years in jail - but was released earlier this summer, having served half.

Shortly after he was jailed, my dad was rushed into hospital with pancreatitis. He was in ICU for 6 months, during which time he had the whole of his colon and pancreas removed, contracted MRSA twice, and we were told twice that he would be dead within 24 hours. Just as we were told there was no reason why he shouldn't make a good recovery and be home for christmas, he took a downturn and the doctors took the decision to switch his macines off. He died on November 1st last year...and I was 160 miles away, hosting my daughter's 5th birthday party.

In the background of all this is my husband...who has struggled for years with his own personal demons - he was sexually abused for several years as a child, and I was the first person he'd ever told, 4 months after we got married. He is currently being referred to the mental wellbeing team, but has been told the wait for CBT is 1-2 years. His problems manifest themselves in secrecy - smoking, running up debts etc.

We have 2 children. My daughter (nearly 6) has hearing problems, sight problems (both relatively minor), and is about to be assessed for dyspraxia and dyslexia.
My son (3.5) has had medical problems and has speach problems.
Between them, I manage to be on a constant round of hospital appointments.

Over the summer, I became ill with a bowel problem. All the tests came back normal, but the illness continued and I have been referred to a gastroenterologist, probably for a colonoscopy to look for ulcerative colitis/Crohn's.
I guess the stress of the last couple of years finally caught up with me and I started to suffer from anxiety/depression. I asked to be put on the anti d's and my GP was supportive. This week, I've also been referred to the mental wellbeing team - though I'm not sure what they can offer.

15 years ago, I was put on seroxat for a few months and given counselling, after being in an abusive relationship. It all seemed very straightforward back then, and I came off the pills and carried on with my life...until now.

I have an older sister who has been on a variety of anti d's for about 20 years, a brother who is on 40mg citalopram for work anxiety, and my dad was severely depressed for a long time and spent time on a psychiatric ward - so I guess the odds against me were always pretty high!

The good news is that I have felt like a different person since Monday's post. Very little anxiety, eating much better, sleeping ok and feeling positive that I can beat this and that my life will be much better for doing so. Not sure if it's the pills, or me but it feels good.