Hi. Im new here, i dunno if ive put this is the right place but i will prob find out by someone lol.
I dunno wen or how this started excatly but i have been panicin for the last few yrs of my life.
When i was at school (secondary school) i panic about everything. The first few years were fine till i got to yr 9. We had the same form tutor since yr 7 but beggin off yr 10 she was leaving, me and her got on really really well, she was like a mate i cud talk too even though she was a teacher. Anyway when i found out she wouldnt be our form tutor anymore i thought '' i cant do this''. I refused to go to school, the first few times i pulled sickys and my mum let me off school then she knew something was wrong, she asked me what was wrong but i couldnt tell her, i didnt know what was wrong. I couldnt get my head around about what happend. A few weeks later she had 2 drag me to school because i refused to go, she called my new head of yr to try and purswade me to come in but it didnt help. She would drive me to schoool then wait till i got out, i never did. She went into the school and got my new head of yr and new form tutor to come and get me outta the car. They pulled and pulled but i wouldnt get outta the car.
Finally i went to my doctor about this. He gave me some pills to stop me panicking, they helped a lot. I went into school when i got the convidence to go in, but i didnt go to lessons. I sat in my head of yrs office and did work there. It was alright, i could cope with it until she tried to push me to go to lessons and i wouldnt. Then it all started again. Finally i went to a few lessons where i felt confortable, were i had mates i could trust and teachers that knew what was going on/how i felt. It came to yr 11. Was my final yr, i thought i could do this, go back to all my lessons and b ok. I was thinking positve. I went back to all my lessons but took me a while with family, teachers and friends help. I did all my exams and everything. I think i was like this coz something happend when i was at school. I was raped when i was 15, i think this was partly to do with it and that i had low confidence. The guy who raped me was in my junior school and came up with me to secondary school. He was in the same form as me all the way through school.I saw him every day. I went to see my school councellor for about 3/4 months and she helped me a lot. She prepared me for the life after school finished i guess.
I still have low confidence but it is growing everyday. I still have panic attacks but not so often and thier over silly things. Im on anti- depressents which are helping. My life is nearly on track now.
Has anyone else been in the same situation ive been in? I feel really stupid posting and thinking about it now because i realise how stupid i was.
Thanks to anyone who replies to this
~Boo Boo~
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