How do you cope?

[DeniseB]

Hi all,

Just looking for a bit of advice.

Although I have been coping quite well of late, this has been a really stressful week. Unfortunatly my grandma has been taken into hospital and to cut a long story short she is having an operation today and will lose a leg. At 91 this will be really hard for her but due to age there is obviously a chance we will lose her.

Now my logic mind is telling me i'm stressed and a bit on edge but because these feelings are so similar to panic I am worrying that I won't cope and will revert to a jibbering, panicing wreck. A worry of mine has always been how i will cope with very stressful situations like this and i want to be strong and supportive of my family, not another drain on them when they are all going through a bad time themselves. I keep trying to tell myself that i am stronger than i think but i am so doubtful at the moment.

If any one has any advice i would be so grateful, how have you coped with really stressful situations whilst on the road to recovery?

Denise x

[trac67]

Hi Denise,
Sorry to hear about your grandma. I hope everything goes well for her.

Keep your mind focused, and stay positive, it is the best way to deal with things when you are having a stressful time, and you will be able to stay strong.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwitten'

[mum2four]

I lost my nana at a bad time in my life 3 year's ago I'm not really sure why but for me life just clicked and i somehow found the strenght to say this is my life I need to live it to my fullest. My nana was a the happiest person I ever new and I new from that moment on (after crying for 24 hours straight) that if I could be half as happy a her i will be a very happy person.

Try to focus on what you nana means to you and what you can learn from her to make your life happier and more forfilling. Your nana is 90 so that's an achivement on it's own and be happy for the life she has lived and if it's her turn to go then look up at the sky (or anywhere you feel s speacial) and say grandma I will show you I can live my life you will see how strong i can be.

I'm not a religious person but I still hope that my nana is looking down on my and my kids and I sometime's feel like she has given me the strength to get to where I am now. Sometime's it feel like she behind me pushing me I get this feeling that she watching me from where she is and i dont want brack my promise to my self after she died.

[mirry]

Sorry to hear about your nan and how concerned you are about her operation, I was in the same situtaion 3 years ago when my nan who was 79 had her major operation and didnt pull thru it.

Like you say you are preparing yourself for possible bad news but it still doesnt take away the pain you are feeling. I was like a robot and just carried on like normal but I do feel it caught up with me later.
I didnt cry at all - I wanted to but it wouldnt come, please do cry.

who knows your nan may shock you all and make a full recovery.
I feel its the not knowing situation that is the most stressfull bit (especially if you suffer anxiety).

I Hope it all goes well for your nan and you.

mirryx

[DeniseB]

Thanks guys,

I was supposed to go to a weight watchers meeting this morning and I put it off. Just thought i needed time to pull myself round.

I'm trying not to put myself under to much pressure, to just take things as they come and your comments really hit home.

Thanks

Denise

[Dan]

denise
i have had same worry as i feel apart when my lovely nan died last year, that if another trauma happens i want cope . be positive for now your nan may well be fine it will be hard adapting and you wiil find a strength to support her. she has had a long life i no that wont make it easier but you must remember that please take care for now and focus on her recovery and positve thoughts to you both
dan

[rois]

sorry to hear about yor nan hope she gets through the op. You were right to cancel the weight watchers don't push yourself too hard and if you don't feel up to doing something then don't do it just cos you feel you have to

"Ther goes the fear, let it go. You turn around and life's passed you by, you look to those you love to justify...there goes the fear."

[jill]

Hi Denise

Sorry to hear about your nan :(

I know how you feel. Just befor christmas last year my Mum was told she had breast cancer :( My first thoughts were, " how will I cope, wiill I lose it altogether and not be able to to there for her". Then I beat myself up for thinking about myself :(
I did post a thread on this site which helped soooo much [^]
The fact is, it's hard not to worry in a situation like this, its a human being natral respons and the feelings are similar to panic. But they ARE NOT PANIC.
I had to give myself a good talking to all the time, keep pushing positive thoughs, be there for my mum as much as I could. Be there for your nan as much as you can.
Please DON'T doubt yourself, you a stronger than you give yourself credit for. Try and keep your mind busy with positive thoughts. I know its hard Denise, BUT YOU CAN DO THIS.

Thinking of you both

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

[rick]

Hi Denise

So sorry about your granma. Times like this are so hard. But remember, there is a difference between the wild anxiety that is so hard for us and the normal anxiety of worrying about someone that is dear to us. I know it is hard to separate the two, but try, if you can. I know we tend to worry about the worst scenarios, but try to be positive.

If, should the unthinkable happen, feel free to express your emotions. Crying is a natural safety valve for us, and we should use it. (Its always been extrememly hard for me, so I know how holding it all in can make things so much worse).

You will be surprised at how strong you really are. There is no shame in being sad over a loved ones misfortunes. The fact that we care for others is what makes us so wonderfully human.

Take care, Rick

It is better to be a free bird than a captive king...

[jill]

Hi Denise

Thinking of you.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX