i need some advice! anxiety stopping me doing a course!!

[greenday1997]

ok so i need some help and advice ive got myself into a right pickle and dont know wat to do

i wanted to do something with my life further my education so i decided to take a higher english course at colledge,one night a week for 3hours its always been my fav subject and what am mostly good at!

But so far its just been problems!! my girlfriends mum got wind of it because at first i couldn't afford it so she gave us the money for it so i would do it. i had to do a test to be accepted ont the course so i went for it, did thefirst part and had to leave because i was going into a panic attack, so i had to lie to my girlfriend, i arranged 2 do the second part which i did passed both with high scores but icouldnt face going again.

Every time i go there is loads of stairs once ive reached the floor i need my hearts beating so fast i panic! then theres the wait for the tutor, i panic again i want to do it but i cant get round the panic!!

The tutor says now i cant do it because im not showing commitment - even though i explained it to her , my girlfreind dosent know and i dont know what to do she wants me to do it, her mums wants to see that im doing something i didnt want her to pay because thats pressure there which isnt helping i dont even know if i can really do the course with my anxiety like this!

I'm sure if i turned up monday theyd let me in but the course is 200 quid of her mums money, i have no idea what to do!!

[Veronica H]

no pressure then!....you must do this for yourself not for others. It sounds as though you want to and that you are more than capable of completing the work. As for the panic...it will improve the more you work through the initial attacks from climbing the stairs and familiarising yourself with the place and the people. Although you may feel stressed I can assure you that there will be few visible outward signs just inner turmoil.....be brave. Let us know how it goes.

Veronica

[greenday1997]

hi there thanks for the reply,

i went tonight, after much worrying about it!! spent all week weighing up what to do and talked with my girlfirend explained things also with a few friends.I think the hardest thing is noone really gets it when i say its HARD. hard to keep my cool, keep calm and just try and get through it and at the same time try and concentrate on the course!!

tonight went....okish. I still had the climbing the stairs my heart felt like it was going to burst outve my chest then there was the uncomfortable feeling of being 29 when everyone else is jus outve school, and i asked 2 go early which i did.

the money is still an issue,next monday i have 2 enrol properly and actually pay the money so its point of no return and the anxiety hasn't budged with the situation. i don't want to be a big failiure to my girlfriend, her parents and mine

is it best to leave it and be a slight dissapointment or risk being a big dissapointment and risk the 200 pounds?!?! i wish her mum didnt pay if i couldve funded it i would have and risked it off my own back that wouldve made me feel somuch better!

[Veronica H]

I am so glad you were able to get there. The anticipation is always worse than the event with this illness. If you enjoyed the work and are interested in the course then I would go for it. You can always voice your concerns about wasteing the money (should your panic/anxiety get in the way) to your girlfriends mum before she makes the payment, that way she can't say she wasn't warned if you back out later.

Veronicax