hi my name is kerry, im 26years old,
ive recently split with my fiance. he cheated on me and dumped me after proposing and allowing me to plan our wedding for a few months :S... ive suffered with anxiety/panic attacks for a long time but i learnt to control them and vouched id never let them return because i was petrified by them.... however they have returned and im so scared... i honestly feel like im dying sometimes because i swear i can feel my throat closing up or a lump in my throat to which im paranoid about cancer as silly as it sounds... i feel so low, i have no confidence in myself i hate yself more than words could express. im too scared to go on tablets again because lasttime i had citalopram i OD'd and it sends me into an attack just thinking about taking a pill again :S. i dont know how to go about councilling anywhere ive tried my doctors but he keeps sending me to students - i admire them for what they do but i dont feel comfortable speaking about my problems to someone younger than me :S... its too hard . plz help me i cant hack feeling like this for much longer its so tiring now... i just want to smile again and be happy... i live for helping other people but how can i do that without my smile and enthusiasm :S. plz help me
thanku xx