Sexual Health

[AlkiAdam]

Hey,

I will start off by saying that i have been panic free for about 6 months before this

However it all came crashing down lately,
I am a gay male and recently had unprotected anal sex with another guy and my friend, the other guy is HIV unknown and intially he was using a condom and i didnt realise he had taken it off which i have now been told is sexual assault, and my friend also had unprotected sex with the same man (3 some)
#

I am paranoid that i am now HIV pos, even though he didn't ejaculate in me and i had taken the PEP pill but only lasted a few days due to the side effects were too bad for me to handle, its been nearly a week and i wont have any clue untill i got for a 3 month blood test, but i have been to a sex clinic and had all the other tests which i am currently waiting for the results,

I just wanna no what my risk is, i am pulling my hair out at the moment :(


Many thanks

Adam

[harasgenster]

When you say "HIV unknown", do you mean you just don't know if he's positive or negative/he hasn't had a test/or he thinks there's a chance he is infected?

Don't worry too much. Remember that HIV is still really quite rare in this country. A lot of gay men have unprotected sex and I'm sure they wouldn't panic like you are, the chances are on your side. Can you ask the man to have a test or are you not in contact with him?

[AlkiAdam]

He said he had a test 2 months ago and he was NEG then however when i went to the GUM clinic they didnt have record of him which is good and bad, as good as he isnt on the HIV list but not good as if he had taken a test they would have been able to see his result, and now he refuses to talk to me, when hes the one in the wrong, i am just worried what my risks are and the likelihood of catching it but all in all he might not even have it!

[meg86]

Hey Adam

Even if this man did have HIV it doesnt mean that you would necessarily catch it, and as you had sex with him the once the chances are very unlikely.

I think you are doing the right thing by going to a sexual health clinic and getting yourself tested, but if this fear is going to plague you i would ask them to carry out a HIV test now instead of waiting 3 months.

You have been panic free for 6 months it would be a shame for your progress to be ruined by this.

Take Care x

[harasgenster]

I think you can get a preliminary test after 2 weeks. Then you can have another one at 3 months, 6 months etc. But the chances are slim. You've had limited exposure, even if he does have it (which is unlikely). HIV is very rare in this country, you said your friend also had sex with him. Is he worried? If he doesn't seem to be as worried as you then take that as a sign. You're both in the same boat but your perspective might be different. Try to take on your friend's perspective if he has a more positive attitude. Choose to think the most helpful thing! There's no use in you panicking, is there? It wouldn't change anything, and there's almost certainly nothing to panic about. Don't let this ruin the next 3 months for you.

[Cococj]

Hi,

Hello from another gay man. He was in the wrong to force unprotected sex on you unknowingly.

But I'm a bit confused here, you went to the GU clinic and asked about his results? Why would they give them you? There's confidentiality issues here, also don't forget you're not obliged to use your real name when you do get tested at these clinics so that's meaningless.

Why are you overly concerned, unless you happen to believe this guy is HIV+ then you're not at risk of catching HIV, whether or whether not he was tested two months ago the situation is the same, get tested and calm down. While I don't advocate unsafe sex between men (especially men who'd force it on you like that in the first place) there's no reason to panic.

Chris

[bottleblond]

He said he had a test 2 months ago and he was NEG then however when i went to the GUM clinic they didnt have record of him which is good and bad, as good as he isnt on the HIV list but not good as if he had taken a test they would have been able to see his result, and now he refuses to talk to me, when hes the one in the wrong, i am just worried what my risks are and the likelihood of catching it but all in all he might not even have it!

Adam

Ok hun firstly....

Even if this chap had gone to this clinic..NO1...it is against the law for them to tell you so as it is confidential information and also i believe you don't have to give your real name at these places which may be another reason he was not traced.

You could possibly contact the 'gay switchboard' who would not only give you sound advice but would also point you in the right direction as to whom to contact for support, medical advice and advice to make sure you are safer with future sexual partners.

I appreciate this is difficult for you hun but please get some solid, sound advice and support.

Lisa
xxx

[nomorepanic]

Even if this man did have HIV it doesnt mean that you would necessarily catch it, and as you had sex with him the once the chances are very unlikely.

It does only take the once though! Sorry for the honesty.

You need to get the tests done I guess to be sure. There is no way of knowing otherwise.

Congratulations on being panic free for 6 months and please don't let this hold you back.

[AlkiAdam]

They didnt tell us much just to see if his name was on the HIV patient list, anyways my friend is being stronger than i am and is stil on the course of PEP pills, i came off them as i couldnt cope with the side effects anymore.
I just am so worried my risk is high but there was no blood and he didnt ejaculate in me

[bottleblond]

Adam love...Ejaculation is neither here nor there when it comes to STD's. It is sexual contact whether sperm has been passed from one body to the other or not. You need to be prepared, be safe and stay safe.

Take care
Lisa
xx