Re: panic led to nervous breakdown
Yeah, I've been through something similar. Two years ago I had a series of panic attacks: they lasted a few hours each and only resulted in me having to take a few afternoons off work.
Then a big attack came and I had a nervous breakdown. This time, the panic didn't lift and I had to take 2 weeks off work and go and stay with my parents.
It was pretty hellish to be honest. On the train up to their house I had this horrible sense of doom - a feeling that I was travelling up there to die. However, I made it. But I got into a physiological pattern of churning stomach, muscle cramps, shivering, and always with this background feeling of despair and dread.
I slowly got better, but it took a long time. It didn't help that I suffer from social phobia, and so the thing that might have pulled me out of myself - seeing people - just made me more anxious.
Since I suffer from social phobia, I don't think my situation is entirely typical. Things did improve slowly, but the social phobia always made things difficult; and I had many relapses.
I lost my job in March this year and have been more relaxed since then, though of course unemployment brings its own worries.
Things that helped me, at different times, were medication (particularly clomipramine), counselling, and meditation. Regarding the latter, I am still learning, but I do think in some weird way it can give you access to a higher state of consciousness. Or something.
I hope you feel better soon. You can get through a nervous breakdown, so hold on in there.
__________________
Fear's a dangerous thing,
It will turn your heart black, you can trust.
It'll take your God-filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust.
- Bruce Springsteen