Citalopram may be making me worse

[NoPoet]

Hi all! I'm wanting to conduct more research for the Citalopram Survival Guide, and also get some feedback from other members.

I may have mentioned in the past that I often feel "better" on days when I do not take citalopram. I sometimes find it relieves the "pressure" in my head, and for some reason my mood improves. I feel a sense of relief.

A friend told me that this could be euphoria caused by my brain releasing happy chemicals to compensate for the lack of inositol.

However - I have been experiencing a "blip" this week and I did not take my citalopram until later than usual today. Now that I've taken it, I feel an increased sense of nervousness.

I did not notice this "nervous" feeling until about 3-4 weeks on cit. It developed gradually from a slight nervous watchfulness to a full-on feeling of doom.

The longest I have gone without cit was a self-imposed 5-day ban (to see what would happen). I believe I started to experience withdrawal effects on day 5.

Has anyone got any thoughts? Is citalopram not the med for me? Should I come off it and just use higher doses of inositol?

[KK77]

These meds haven't been tested in long-term trials for efficacy (ie longer than a year), and personally, I think the reason for that is that the drug companies know they lose their AD effect through tolerance. I was on Seroxat for 7 years and the only reason I stayed on it was that I found it incredibly hard to come off. You should increase the inositol and other vitamins too perhaps (magnesium is excellent for withdrawals by the way) and see how you go. I'm sure you're wise enough to taper the cit if you do....

[NoPoet]

Well I've already had one friend advise me to carry on with treatment. But I honestly don't feel the citalopram is having much benefit.

I think my recovery began when I started asking for help. It unblocked the emotional dam and healed a lot of wounds.

Since then, I've had counselling, hypnotherapy and generally tried to get on with my life, and none of these benefits have got anything to do with citalopram.

Citalopram DID help to an extent. I was sinking fast in February and March. By my birthday in May I was already seeing tentative signs that things were getting better. On the other hand, it could simply have been the positive effects of knowing I was doing something to help myself - and I went out nearly every day, whereas before I took cit I sat in and worried myself sick.

With my anxiety on the back foot, my blips these days tend to be more depression than anything else, and it's positive events in my life (and increased doses of inositol) that put me back on track.

Positive thinking and increased life experience have done more to combat my illness than the medication. I'm not saying the cit didn't have a part to play but these days the side effects outweigh its benefits.

Everything I said in the Survival Guide is still right and I stand by it; I just don't tolerate citalopram very well, which is why I am considering binning it off.

[chickpea]

*sigh*

I don't know what to say, Poet.

I've only been on it for 10 weeks, and I have had a fair mix of good and bad days.
The thing that gets me is that the "good" days are actually only as good as the days I was having at the beginning of treatment, and the bad days are far, far worse.

It *could* be that I managed to see the GP and go on the meds as soon as my anxiety was manifesting itself in a noticeable way, and that the anxiety I've had since was simply part of the trajectory I was already on.

Or it *could* be that the citalopram has made things worse, and in comparison the "normal" days feel like "good" days.

My GP says I should embrace the meds and realise that they will get me better faster than self-help alone.
The psych I saw yesterday said that drug therapy was as effective as CBT, as a stand-alone treatment.
When I tried to explain that I needed to teach myself that anxiety was ok, wasn't going to kill me etc, he looked at me like I was mad and said, "that's a very brave viewpoint to take".

In defence of the drugs, I'd say they've given me the head space to think about my life and the issues in it.
Like you, I ultimately think I'll come out of this a better person for the changes I now know I HAVE to make in my life.

Poet, you seem like an extremely clued up, intelligent individual, with great self-awareness. There is no blood test that will tell you if the meds are working - only you know that. You sound like you have gained a huge amount from the other therapies you've tried, so go forward - have the courage of your convictions and do this your own way.

[NoPoet]

My best mate just texted me telling me to stick with the meds. Aargh I hate being indecisive. I will wait to speak to my doctor. I already know what he's gonna say.

[KK77]

Well, whatever your friend or doctor suggest, make sure it's YOUR decision. Go with whatever you feel is right - then you have only yourself to rely on and hold to account - which is the best thing for your recovery. I personally don't like being influenced because one person will push you in one direction and someone else in another. I'm sure you have enough insight into this whole affair by now to come to your own conclusions and do the right thing.

[Budgie]

hi poet!

It sounds very confusing, a real dilemma

I wonder though if having times where you aren't taking the cit, then start taking it, might be creating some issues. After a short gap without the chemicals in your body, to take it is bound to create a jittery sensation?

It took me 7 months before I gtot to an even keel with this medication. Its only really now, 10/11 months after I started on them, that I am starting to feel a sense of energy coming back and less depressive feelings.

[NoPoet]

Oops, I forgot about this thread!

I'm having a 6-month review of my medication with Doctor Dick on Tuesday afternoon. It's been 9 months since I started taking citalopram.

It's a proper appointment too, not his Mickey Mouse drop-in surgery, so I should get some decent time with him to discuss my treatment.

Sometimes I think a higher dose might help reduce my number of blips but to be honest I would rather crap my pants and walk round with it swishing around all day than increase my dose by another milligram!

I've found one genuine cure for anxious moments: watching Deep Space Nine, surely the most underrated programme ever shown.