well i have been fishing in around in my hubbies things dont know why just mega anxious today. And i have found out him and my mom have arranged a suprise 30th party for tonight. I knew i was going out tonight but thought i was just me and him for a quiet night. I am petrified my anxiety is through the roof i am so anxious at becoming 30 anway feel really old and now i have to worry about the shock of walking in infront of everybody and looking shocked i dont think i can do it, i hate being centre of attention and am trying to think of ways to get out of it. On top of this i take propranol and citalopram and am scared to have a drink but its the only way i will get through the night, i know im being incredibly selfish but i really cant believe he is springing this on me he knows how ill ive been.