struggling

[nikk_dolittle]

Hi all.

I dont usually post much now becasue I'm too scared too.

As most of you know, my nan has been in hospital for a week. she will be coming out tomorrow. I will going to Bath with is 248 miles from here in a car. Im scared of cars but I'm not letting anx take over. I cant wait to have her here.

I've had a hell of a time with appts recently and work. I had a big meeting the other day but It was cancelled till monday then my support worker didnt turn up again and my CPN put me under so much pressure although my counsellor stuck by me and told my CPN it was too much. So It lasted 20 mins. then they arranged it for the day after so my support worked would be there. but I stopped it. I couldnt do it, It was too much for me. My CPN doesnt know what to do anymore so has made appts every 3 weeks. my support worker is just ignoring me and he is susposed to help with work but he doesnt. I have been bottleing things up which hasnt helped me, I'm slowly talking to Kaz about it now.

I feel stuck. work is becoming so much on top of me.

I cant release anything and I'm crying at small things.

Ive had a few bad nights and I wake up in such a panic and a mess. Im scared to sleep becasue I dont know whats going to happen. With this happening I wanna go back to Kaz's as I didnt have them up there as I knew I was safe and nothing would harm me, I managed to sleep all night and not need the help if Kaz to calm me.


Sorry I needed a moan.

Love nikk xxxxxxxxxx

[pollyanna]

Hi Nikk,

Its not moaning, its just letting off some steam, we all need to do that. im sorry your having such a tough time, i hope things start to pick up for you soon. big hugs to you too.P x

[suzy-sue]

SSorry you are feeling so low NikkIm pleased that your Nan is coming home .Your support worker doesnt seem much use at all and needs reporting to someone .Its hardly surprising you feel like you do .I hope everything gets sorted soon .It does you good sometimes just to let it out .Take care and all the best with the journey .Im sure you will do yourself proud again .Thinking of you Luv Sue xx

[ladybird64]

Nikk

You do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel a bit better, don't get yourself stressed.
It will be great for you to have your nan around and good that you can share how you feel with Kazzie.
You can do this sweetheart, believe in yourself...let it all pass by you and you will start to feel a better soon. You know I'll be here for you if you need me..you were there for me when I needed strength and reassurance.



PS. Sending your prat of a support worker a virtual kick up the ...

[RosieXXX]

Hello Nikk,

I have been thinking about you, and am wishing you well for your journey today; I am pleased your Nan is on the mend, and can now return home. Once you know she is settled you may feel better able to cope with the other stresses you are having to deal with.

It is much better to try and talk your feelings through, because it definitely does help to stop the build up of tension - I know it isn't always easy though, and it is great you have Kazzie to help you through.

[MOJO]

Hello Nikk,
I am sorry you are feeling low just now. I wish you luck for your journey, I am sure you will manage ok, just keep thinking of seeing your nan. Hopefully once you have her back you will feel a little easier.
Your support worker doesn't seem to be doing his/her job. Can you get someone else?
I'm so glad you have kazzie for support. Someone who understands what you're going through really helps doesn't it?
Good luck and take care.
Judy.xxx

[den68]

from me to you

[messianictalmud]

Hi Nikk sorry things seem so hard at present.
Your Support Worker sounds like right twit!
Maybe an idea to go see your GP to have a chat with him/her about how you feel and how unsupportive the support worker is.
Maybe your GP could speak on your behalf and get you another support worker who cares enough to keep appiontments with you.

Good luck we're all here for you!

Oh another idea in regards to work is to get in touch with your local Jobcentre Plus office and see a Disabilty Employment Advisor they have can be very helpful in helping people to remain in employment and have various sources of help which wouldn't cost your employer anything.

Hope things improve quickly for you Nikk.

[nikk_dolittle]

Thank you all. Ive jsut come in from Bath. Nan is home and she seems to be fine at the moment.

Im sooo tired to reply much but I'm going to talk to my S/w manager tomorrow and ask her what I can do now about my apts.

I think i'm just drained to omuch and things are getting on top on me.

Love nikk xxxxxxxxxx