Intrusive Thoughts

[s8647]

Hi,

I'm having a really bad day with horrible thoughts of hurting myself and loved ones all day, I can't get away from them at the minute and they scare me so much. Any help on how I can at least temporarily ward off these horrible thoughts. When the thoughts aren't there, after a few minutes I get to thinking "Am I feeling better?" then the thoughts jump straight back in.

Any advice would be great.

Thanks

[kathee]

hi there ..... maybe you are giving them too much power, but that i mean you are trying tooooooo hard to banish these thoughts, rather like me and chocolate when i am on a diet best thing to do is when you have these thoughts, allow them to materialize then just dismiss them by saying to yourself "oh that was just another silly thought" then think no more of it, also the "Am i feeling better thought" is a trigger, so when you think that say to yourself .... maybe i am or maybe i am not but so what? ... the main thing is do not try and ward them off just let them be, then dismiss them for what they are silly, intrusive thoughts . hope this helps :-)

[Desprate Dan]

Kathee is right, someone on here once put it these thoughts are like "Birds flying over your head the key is not to let them nest in your hair" just let them come into your mind but let them pass through, the more you push them away the more you think about them and they come back, just let them in and back out again but just remind yourself thats all they are is thoughts they cant harm you or others unless you act upon them, so just let them be exactly what they are just silly thoughts....

Dan

[Wolfy]

hi all

i used to suffer from these thoughts too...really bad...."gonna kill my wife, throw my baby son down the stairs, etc oh and an interesting one..when driving on the motorway, in the outside lane, id think,,,"all i have to do is turn right (into the central reserve) and kill us all !!"

As you know thoughts like these are very very upsetting....

But guess what....i now dont suffer with them....ever....at all....

Know why ?

Well pm some therapy course i was on, the following comments where made to me by a therapist....they cured me (over time)

1. people who will ACTUALLY kill/hurt others, or themselves, dont get upset/anxious becuase of the thoughts......they only think about not getting caught !.....so unless you are thinking "how do i get away with it" you dont have much to fear

2. a senior therapist told me that when they all go on training days,,,during their meal breaks....to relax....they actually try and think up the kind of terrible thoughts that upset me and you....but they do it just for fun and relaxation !!!! they mean that little

3... (on of mine) think about the most terrible/gory/upsetting/disgusting horror film you have ever seen.......the type that makes you shrink back in your chair in terror !

well....all that horribleness came from the directors own mind !!!!!

i think what im trying to say is...just because you think it, doesnt mean you will ever follow it through.....


hope this helps a bit

love

Wolfy

[Kerrigan]

I get these thoughts in a morning, I'll be lying in bed and suddenly all these images flood into my mind of me having parasites, having worms and headlice (I have NONE of those things!) or touching myself inappropriately or killing children. The reason I think those things is because I love someone but can't be with him and I think he can read my mind in the powerful dark stillness of the morning.

Instead of transferring sexual thoughts (gone are the days when I'd feel horny in a morning like every normal person) I end up screwing up my face and saying 'no, no' when a nasty image pops into my mind.

One thing that struck me about your post was that you asked you mind the question 'am I feeling better?' this almost invites those thoughts back because you're trying not to think of them.

[s8647]

Hi,

Thanks for all the replys. These last four days have been really hard trying to fight these horrible thoughts. I'm due to see a 'specialist' about my 'thinking' which my GP has put me forward for. As of yet I have not been diagnosed with any disorder. However I don't get to see anyone until January, which seems so so far away. Earlier in the year I had a problem that I heard of a friend's friend suddenly passing from a brain hemorrhage. This got into my head just the way these thoughts have and they tortured me badly. But I came out of it just like I will this I know I can. But at the minute my life feels rubbish and controlled by these thoughts. I'm always in a state of panic about the thoughts, I don't want to go through Christmas like this, it is usually my favorite time of year. I feel like I will be letting my family and my partner down so much as my thoughts take up so much of me half of the time I'm like a zombie, emotionless. However I don't feel like I could tell them about the thoughts as it would just scare them away. Just to put across the kind of person I am, I'm the kind of person who would pick up a spider from inside the house and put it in the garden, not just hit it like some, life is precious.

[Maj]

You mentioned the spider thing - if you look at some of my posts you'll see that I say most of the time the people who suffer from these thoughts are sensitive, caring people who wouldn't hurt a fly (or spider!!!). I know it's difficult but please try not to fight the thoughts, that only makes you more tense and more afraid. They are only thoughts - they can't do anyone any harm - they depend on your dislike of them to keep happening. That's why they happen and torment you so much. Try and let them wash over you when they happen and carry on with what you were doing. Don't let them matter. When they don't matter they stop happening so much. And even if they do they don't have the same power. I know it's difficult but if you accept and relax you will get there. Claire Weekes mentions them in her books so it shows you they are a common symptom of anxiety - you are not alone.
Myra

[Alicat]

Can I post here too? I don't want to start another thread.

I've started having horrible thoughts again. They did go away for a while. I am disabled (I'm in a wheelchair) and I work with people with physical and learning disabilities. I love helping them and making them happy.

But...I keep thinking 'well they (and I) shouldn't still be here. If it wasn't for other people keeping us here and us having to rely on them, we'd die. It's not natural' I know they're just thoughts and I wouldn't want to treat anyone with a disability badly. I care about them as people and they and their well-being matters as much as anyone else.

I'm still having the thoughts and they're really getting to me.

[Maj]

Hi Little Ali, I'm really sorry you are having these thoughts. It's a shame that someone like you who is helping other people to feel better feel so low yourself at times. Please try not to be disturbed by these thoughts. You don't deserve to have to feel like this. Being disabled must be testing at times and I salute you. We take so much for granted when we have the use of all our limbs. So please, don't feel bad about your thoughts, you are only human and must feel a bit overwhelmed at times. And congratulations for the good work you do. You are a credit to yourself.
Myra x

[Wolfy]

hi S8647

you know why you suffer with these thoughts ? its simple....in fact the reason most of us suffer anxiety in the first place is simple....its simply because WE CARE...think about it....a mad axe murderer doesnt get anxiety, doesnt get intrusive bad thoughts..because he couldnt care less about his fellow man....

after speaking to quiet a few of my friends who have sufered but come out of the othe side so to speak, most of them would tell you :-

1. obviously the person they are now and the person they were before anxiety are VERY different.
2. most of them prefer the person they are now to the person before anxiety struck (i say again these people have found their way passed most anxiety issues)
3. anxiety has its positives !! yes really !!
4. for me..my anxiety has made me a more compassionate person, one who "can now noticed the suffering in others, AND a person who is willing to help anyway i can


i couldnt have said this pre anxiety......

A tip for the bad thoughts issue.....EVERYONE gets the odd "dodgy thought" from time to time....its called being human,,,,problem is that because us anxious people fear so much, our minds look at the thought with horror...this horror gives the hought power...and hence it returns time and time again....

Is there a cure ? yes i think so...this worked for me....when a thought comes in....dont fear/flinch,,,,,take hold of the thought (and this will freak you) try to make the thought WORSE.....

example your thought " im going to kill my new born son"


what you do with it now is "OH MY GOD IM SUCH A BAD PERSON WILL/COULD I REALLY DO THIS IM SOOO HORRIBLE...ETC ETC ETC"

What you should do with the thought...make it very much worse !!

eg "yes im going to throw him downstairs...then kick him into the kitchen, get all the sharp knives and cut him to pieces..etc etc im sure you get the idea..."

this will set of your anxiety almost straight away....but as you continue making the thought sooo terrible, you WILL get fed up of it...the process will get boring to you (honestly it will)

you will get to the point that when the original thought comes in...instead of greating it with horror ,,,you will great it with bordom !!!cant be bothered attitude to the thought.......

this is when you have won,,,you are giving the thought no power....and the thought will diminish....and eventually not return......(ive been there this worked for me)

sorry its a long post but do so hope it helps...

regards

wolfy