Where to start. Just as i thought i had a lot of this sussed i have a couple of stressful weeks and symptoms i thought i had a grip on have reared their ugly head and i feel like a little girl lost!

I lost my grandma last week, not unexpected, i had posted about my worries on coping and had some really helpful replies. Had been coping quite well, but also found out on the day of the funeral that i was facing redundancy. Not of the greatest importance when i had just lost a loved one but extra stress i didn't need. Managed to keep my job thankfully. Had a few ropey journeys to and from work in the car when the panic attacks seemed to return and with more force but talked myself through, only to be expected that i will be feeling a bit over raught with everything thats been happening, so overall was feeling quite proud of myself. Then the weekend. Because i'm not having to push myself my mind is working overtime and i am totally catastrophising! To the point that i had an almighly whopper where the physical symptoms were so strong i thought this is it! Haven't had anything that bad for such a long time it has given me a real fright. All those things i have learned and it all just seemed to go out of the window. Was so worried the kids would see me in such a state i got the other half to play upstairs with them whilst i had a calm down phonecall with my mum, (makes me laugh that i run to my mum for reassurance at the age of 32!). I need to get a balnce again im just not sure how to do it!

Thnaks for listening, it makes me feel better to get it out and know that there are people who understand.

Deniseb