My thoughts on HA, Anxiety and Panic Attacks (long post)

[ulala23uk]

Hi All,

I'm pretty new to this forum, and have been floating about on here for a couple of weeks now and have read some really insightful, helpful, and sometimes heartbreaking posts from people who are suffering everyday. And it moves me but also greatly relieves me that I am not alone and that I am not mad

I have been suffering with anxiety, panic attacks, HA and mild OCD for as long as I can remember really and have had good times and bad times over the years. But over the years its has never really gone away completely, it just gets masked over by some other event going on in my life from time to time which gives the illusion that its gone away only to have it return with a vengence again when things calm down or when I am supposed to be really feeling better if you all know what I mean, which I am sure that you do.

I won't go on for ages about the ins and outs of all my anxiety (although if anyone wants to PM me with any questions they are more than welcome to do so) but I am convinced that after considering all the evidence and by my own personal experiences all anxiety and HA and all its variants are linked to the same fundamental source and thats GUILT! If you all probe a little into the thoughts behind whats fuelling your anxiety you will quickly realise that you have low self esteem and guilt for something that has happened to you at some point, or how your life is going and where your future is going..

For some people its the guilt of living when a close family member dies of a serious illness, for some its guilt for not being a good enough parent ..for others its a feeling that you are not good enough and compare yourself to others all the time...if you think I'm barking up the wrong tree then just think back to the times when you did feel good ..even if that was years and years ago...think back..what was in your life then that isnt now ? and as soon as you can find a way to rid yourself of guilt and boost your confidence in yourself you will feel worthy of living on this planet and enjoying your life like everyone else and you will find that gradually your HA will fade away and you will think how the hell did I feel like this in the first place !

You know when you really get ill..like get a cold or the flu..your HA almost vanishes doesnt it, you dont obsess on symptoms so much cos you got a 'real' reason to feel ill, its like your mind accepts that it has to recover from whatever illness it is and cant waste pointless healing energy on pointless thoughts of 'what ifs' and 'maybe's'...

sorry to sound vague but my point is ..

If you could somehow get to the root of the problem of whats really going on in your mind you could apply the energy 'wasted' on panic attacks and HA and all other anxiety to solving the root cause of what areas in your life you need to change..give yourself a real reason for these panic attacks/anxiety..because we all need a reason dont we? a reason is like a shaft of light in that dark endless tunnel we think we are all in..it deosnt matter how you get to that shaft of light..just keep it in your minds eye..that light, that reason, be totally honest with yourself and try to get some help

I am going to see a therapist in the new year and hopefully find some way of dealing with my insecurities and guilt once and for all..I am getting really angry with this taking over my life and robbing me of my potential and you should too...get angry with these thoughts, scream, shout and take back your life

hope you can find this of some help..even if its a little venty..

take care all

we will get better

xx

[Jimpy]

I am really really really fed up with this taking over my life, fed up of waking up every morning tense and uptight, waiting for symptoms and negative thoughts to start. Seems almost unstoppable sometimes. I guess the trick is getting to the root of the issue. Thanks for a post which has made me think more deeply about this issue. Not got a therapy course sorted out yet but I will start looking.

Jim