mental checking!

[existential crisis]

Hey,

Does anyone else have this thing with their anxiety where they mentally check everything? For example, in public when speaking to other people, mentally checking over what you have said because you are scared of saying something wrong or silly? With me it's even go to the stage where if I bloody smile or laugh at something I worry that it means I'm going crazy (because surely I shouldnt be laughing if Im depressed, anxious - if you know what I mean). This is really hard to explain and I probably sound like a complete nut-job but I really am starting to get peed off about it. Im sick to death of feeling like someone removed by brain and filled the remaining space with sawdust! Does anyone else have this this 'checking' thing or am I descending into OCD?! Ta very muchly - Clare. xxx

*I think, therefore I am.*

[vernon]

No you are not going mad and what you are going through is normal. and as for laughing thats fully normal with everyone not just people with anxiety disorders, Look at when people have to go for surgery or dental treatment they are so upset and bad that they seem to laugh? Sometimes I have been at my lowest and feeling so bad but laugh, I think this is just a reaction so dont you worry at all. Take care, Vernon

[existential crisis]

Thanks for your reply Vernon. Yeah, you are right about how people react to terrible situations by being upbeat - I suppose it's just the body trying to protect itself from complete mental collapse! The checking only seems to be a recent thing with me - I dont actually perform any rituals or anything like that, just always going over EVERYTHING I DO in my mind. Very, very annoying. I always check what Im doing against my knowledge of mental/physical illnesses if that makes sense? Like the laughing and smiling - I always (irrationally) think 'Oh Im laughing even though 2 hours ago I felt like crying - I MUST BE A MANIC DEPRESSIVE!!'...Couple that with the depersonalisation and I can easily convince myself that I am on the bus to Looneyville. xxx

*I think, therefore I am.*

[Piglet]

I think lots of people do this. I certainly can run a conversation over in my head a few times and give it a bit of an analyse before letting it go but I think that is pretty normal.

Whenever we are anxious I think we just do normal stuff - but worry about it and that's just cos we feel off balance!!!

Love Piglet

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[existential crisis]

When I see that word - WORRY - on the screen I want to break something! What I wouldnt give to go back to the old days of just simply not giving a rat's ass...

*I think, therefore I am.*

[existential crisis]

Perfect example of how I feel just arose:- Was watching the TV and heard that Take That were going to reform for a tour. I got excited (Yes, I am sad!) and then started panicking that because it felt 'weird' to be excited over something! Plus excitement and nervousness are quite similar so I couldnt work out which one I felt! Is it normal to feel this confused...I really am starting to think that I'm a manic depressive! [:I]

*I think, therefore I am.*

[malc38]

I know exactly what you mean Clare, ive had trouble seeing the difference between being excited and feeling anxious. When i did get excited about something i could easily talk myself into becoming anxious almost straight away.

Take care
Malc

[bluesparkle]

hi clare
i know what you mean by checking over the conversation... i used to do this alot and also if i was texting someone i would go over and over it again in my head once id sent it... but no you are not mad... or on the way to loonyville!
yes excitment and nervousness are very similar and make us react in a similar way... this is very normal...
i felt very confused especially about my emotions for a long time but as i have got better then my emotions have started to sort themselves out too...
it will get better... take care
rach

[Meg]

Excitement and nervousness are exactly the same thing with the thoughts and prognosis changed..

Think about it in terms of Alton Towers, excited, exhilarated but terrified depending on what thoughts you are going through in your mind.

The mental checking is common and not a sure sign of anything apart from maybe a touch of loss of confidence and some nervousness

We all have 38 or something emotions and can run through everyone anytime depending on how we are thinking and thus therefore start to feel



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[existential crisis]

Thanks for all your posts guys - Its good to know that there are others like me because sometimes it really does feel like I'm the only one. It really bothers me that I feel so messed up about things because I used to be such a clear thinker. I suppose I just need to know how to make it better. I know that it's my thoughts that cause me to feel as mixed up as I do I just havent got a clue how to stop the thoughts. It's even got to the point where if I havent thought about anxiety-related stuff for a while I think about the fact that I havent thought of it - if that makes sense! Oh and talking of anxiety, my mother wants me to go to Birmingham tommorow Xmas shopping. One part of me is really excited because I love shopping - the other part is ****ting myself and tempted not to go! God damn it! Where did my life go?! Sorry for ranting... xxx

*I think, therefore I am.*