Just started taking Mirtazapine

[JT69]

Hi EJ have found the thread, as a new user it takes some working out when you post things but I tend to get there in the end. I suffer with bouts of depression and anxiety. I am usually able to carry on working throughout even though it becomes difficult and I have to push myself. It helps me doing this. This last period of depression/anxiety has been the worst I have ever had hence the change in meds. I went up to 40ml of citalopram and found i was having one good week then one bad week so it just was not helping. After discussing with my GP the choice I had was Mirtazipine or duloxetine, we went for the mirtazipine as he felt it would be better suited and here I am. Day 7 today of taking the med and I am still getting the awful zaps through my body from the withdrawal of citalopram and feeling heavy/tired and not myself with the mirt. I just hope in the next week these effects start to wear off. I cannot leave the house at the moment due to feeling this way. i did phone the GP and he said my take 2 weeks before I start to feel better. Mentally I have no depression or anxiety which is a good sign. Sounds like you have had alot of treatment in the past and been through an awful lot, makes my problems sound so trivial. You are very brave and its good you have a good psychiatrist. Jo

[smudger]

Hi. Just wanted to say what I call my "looney phase" is when I feel like an alien has invaded my body and I behave in a weird way. People must think I am literally looney, barking mad! Its as if I am not me anymore, can't think straight, have paranoia, rage, sobbing, lonely, inferior to everybody, say and do odd things....I almost feel like I AM going mad. I hope I haven't offended either of you with that terminology. Sometimes I have to call myself a looney to laugh at myself in a way otherwise I would go literally mad! It is my way of coping!

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Jo It does not really matter what you post here most is acceptable apart from offensive stuff or spamming or irrelevance so post away.. I have had an eventful life but most people only know a small part of it. It is just the way that it is and hopefully I have moved on from it. I suffer from a pretty serious depressive disorder that could potentially disrupt my life if I let it. For most depressives with help be from drugs or therapy or a combination of both manage to get through it. I'm sure that the brain zaps and sleepiness and deadness are the withdrawals and side effects from the mirt and it will get better. I've never had brain zaps but have had depersonalisation. I hope you manage to see your way through it. Are you receiving any therapy such as CBT or talking therapy? To Smudger: I was completely confused when you talked about your looney phase. It sounds absolutely ghastly. Do you feel as if you are losing control or just losing it?

[smudger]

My looney phase is when I just lose control of who I am, even my thoughts and my actions. I literally feel like I'm going mad and I'm lost. It is a horrible feeling. The last time it happened I was sobbing and screaming at my husband "I want you to help me, I can't do this on my own....please just help me..." and then I threw my straighteners across the bedroom and kept on saying "I want to die, I want to die, I'm so tired of feeling like this". I just lost control. I was SO scared. Although I felt like I wanted to die at the time, I don't really want to die because when I am feeling better like now, it is the last thing on my mind. Without my depression, life is good! Its so so horrible. I dread this happening again, it is the worse time for me.

[JT69]

Hi EJ No I not receiving any CBT or talking therapy, my GP has not offered any of these only the meds. I am starting to benefit from the mirtazipine as I do not feel as depressed and very little anxiety. The drowsiness is wearing off earlier each day too. The zaps remain though and I did read somewhere that they can actually last for months (quite worrying) but when I have reduced citalopram dosage in the past and felt slight zaps they didnt last months so hopefully not. I have been taking mirt for 7 days now and I remain positive thankfully due to this forum even though you obviously do read some negative comments too as we are all different. What did you mean by depersonilisation?? It is very encouraging for me to chat to you and do hope you will continue posting.
Smudger.....I totally understand what you mean by loony phase as I feel like that sometimes too. You just cannot really explain it but you feel that you are going mad, and yes I have often thought I would rather be dead than feel this way but then I think of those that I would leave behind and what it would do to them and I know its not what I really want. Sometimes you just feel you cant take it anymore. Jo.x

[smudger]

JT69, I think it is having my daughter and husband that keeps me going when things get tough. I couldn't bear to cause them pain!

[ElizabethJane]

Depersonalisation is when you feel disconnected. It is like being in a film watching yourself eating and drinking and talking and yet feeling far away. It can happen in stressful situations and it is important to pracice grounding techniques when this happens. I hope this helps.

[JT69]

Smudger, I totally understand! I wouldnt be where I am now if it wasnt for my husband, he is so supportive, I feel so guilty for what I put him and my two children through. They are both so much older now and understand, but when I am depressed I just feel so bad that they have to see me like it. I just thank god I have them and they always offer so much support.

[JT69]

EJ...thanks for that, I am learning so much from this site it really helps. I read that you gained a stone and half at some point whilst taking mirtazipine. I am already overweight and it was one of the reasons I was reluctant to go on this drug but my GP insisted that it was a better choice than duloxetine (having previously tried srri's and they stopped working). My husband bought me a treadmill to help with the depression/anxiety and I am going on this daily for an hour. I find this helps me wake up a little and also love excercise. If I combine this with a healthy diet (even though I am finding it hard to avoid naughty food at the moment) will it keep the weight off??? I dont supose for a minute I will be fortunate to lose any weight which I really need to do but I cannot afford to put on any as this will just add to my problems.