lately i have just switched of my feelings because everyhings been going wrong for me lately and i dont want to feel the pain. it feels like i cant control this anymore and i just switch off and cant come back.
I feel sooo horribly because im pushing everyone awa even my boyfriend who hasnt done anything wrong and he has always been there but sometimes it feels like the stuff i want to say like "i love you" or "im scared" and of course the worst "i need help" just cant be said and instead all these horrible nasty comments come out that i dont even mean!
I think im doing this because people have really abused and manipulated me in the past and im scared of him being the same and i feel sooo naive when i think hes different!
Its like he cant win because hes always there and he always supports me but hes still some how in the wrong but i dont want to loose him i dont want to push him away any advuce?