Had to cancel trip

[Gregor]

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling a bit down right now and just generally confused. I'm currently in the UK on my own and struggling with life, but coping just about. I am desperate to see my wife again who is living in Peru whilst we sort out the visa thing. I havent seen her for 7 months now and in 3 weeks it will be our 3rd Wedding Anniversary. I had planned to go over there to be with her on that day.

However, my nerves struck and sent me into so many panics i couldnt cope and i decided to cancel my trip. I had bought the flight tickets and everything.

I have previously struggled to get across there on my own - living out there for 18 months - then fly back on my own. However, this time i just couldnt do it. Just planning the trip made me a nervous wreck.

So, now i've cancelled the tickets - and lost about £400 to the airline who wouldnt refund in my situation. I'm still so disappointed that this stupid anxiety has got the better of me and i can't go when i so desperately want to. Even now i'm thinking of ways to go there, but i know i just need to put it behind me and move on and try to get better.

Gregor

[Bill]

Just a thought but while you're here, try to "make a local friend" who will support you so that next time you attempt to fly out, this friend can be by your side to reassure you and be with you until you're on the flight. Once you're on the flight, they'll be no turning back so you just need someone you can trust to help you get on it.

One suggestion perhaps would be to contact your local MIND group because they will certainly understand how you feel and they'll also have volunteers who could be your friends to help you get there. I'm Sure they'd love to help you too!

It maybe better than trying to attempt to tackle your anxiety alone.

[darrenc]

Hi Gregor,

I know how you feel, because I had to cancel my holiday to the US a couple of months ago because of fear of having an incident on the plane or while over there.

I was so disappointed because I'd booked the holiday with a friend who does not like travelling alone, and I felt I'd let them down as well.

Maybe have a word with your doctor to see if there is anything he can give you for your nerves for next time. He might be able to suggest something you can take while on the flight.

All the best, and I hope you get to see your wife soon.

[twiglet]

hi gregor,
i understand how you feel. i havnt been back home for 7 years beacuse my anxiety wont let me get on that plane. it is a horrible feeling. i feel i let my husband and son down aswell as myself. i really do hope one day soon you can get on that plane to see your wife. maybe theres a friend that can go with you for support??
best of luck. take care!!

twigs xx

[jonny]

Hi Gregor,

Please see this thread i opened a few weeks ago, at the bottom is an update.

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=67304

Sometimes (in fact most of the time) the build up to an event is far worse than it actually is. We make ourselves anxious with thoughts of 'what if' even tho most of it is irrational.
I found a miracle in the form of Diazepam, i am sure if you took a few you would fly without a problem. They are wonderful even tho they can be addictive in quantity.

Can you still use your tickets?

[Veronica H]

Sorry you missed out Gregor. Maybe there was too long a build up to the trip and too much time for the anticipatory anxiety to take hold. You have done it before and I am sure in time you will do it again.

Veronicax

[Gregor]

I'm sorry for the delay in replying - i can't stand hanging out here all the time anymore as it makes me worse reading everyone else's problems!

I do currently take Diazepam and i still feel too nervous to go! it's more the travelling to the airport, walking around the airport and changing planes (also getting down the stairs on the planes). Whilst i'm flying i have slight anxiety in taking off and landing (it's not as bad as you think!).

I did have my brother who agreed to come to London with me and come to the airport with me, but i don't feel safe with him because he's very self-absorbed.

What i'd love to do is make a decision and just go - buy a ticket, go tomorrow and that's it. Unfortunately life isnt as simple as that - there are so many things to do before i went.

I would love for someone to come with me all the way to Peru, but it's so expensive i can barely afford my own ticket and i can't expect others to pay their own way.

I know it's all about anticipatory thoughts and quite often the event is not as bad as all that, but i was facing three weeks of worrying myself to death which i feared would hinder my recovery.

[Maj]

What a pity you find "hanging around here" makes you feel worse. Sometimes I find that reading the posts of others puts my worries into perspective and I realise that I am quite fortunate, really. There's always someone worse off than yourself - no matter how bad you think you are. It seems extremely unlikely that you will find someone to travel to Peru with you so I think it would be better to contact your doctor and tell them how bad you are feeling. No-one can help you to go on this trip apart from you. I personally hate airports but they are a means to an end and there's no other way. I'd ask the doctor if they could give you something to calm you down whilst going through the airport procedure because it's such a waste of time and money and what's on the other side of your journey is surely worth going through a bit of anxiety for. I'm sure your doctor can help you with this.

[smudger]

Hi. What a shame you are missing out. Just an idea. You know how sometimes people are chaperoned at airports, like when somebody is in a wheelchair or is a foreign non English speaking travellor etc etc...well can you enquire at the airport if a member of staff could meet you and see you from check in to departure. Maybe if you could get a note off a doctor explaining your anxiety? Is this possible...I am not sure? Got to be worth asking though! You and your wife must miss each other desperately.