Hi all,
Recently I have been thinking about how my panic attacks started as I think finding the root cause of my panic may help me in my long road to recoverey.
I think iv finally figured out what has caused my general anxiety and panic attacks.
Im not going to go in to details as I will be here all night but it's basically to do with my childhood, I was bought up in single parent family with my mum and a father who hardly ever came to see me and I recently found out the real reasons why my mum and dad split up.
my dad cheated on my mum while she was pregnant with me and my dad left home when i was a baby.
My dad use to make me promises and broke most of them alot. i found it hard to trust my own dad and to have someone who is meant to be so close to you lie to you and break your trust with them its hard.
When I got older and started dating it was hard because I felt that if my own father can lie to me and decieve me then it will be real easy for a bloke to. This lead me to having failed relationships. Even now that im engaged to someone that loves me very much in the back of my mind I still worry that he will leave me or cheat on me. if my dad can do it then it will be so easy for someone else to.
Im crying even now writing this and forgive me if im going on for too long but i feel i need to get this out.
Well i have always related my feelings to songs i have heard and this song is one that sums up how i feel.
http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/...se_of_you.html
I hope this works because this song sums up exactly how i feel and makes me cry every time i hear it.
I think people should relate their feelings to songs so that they can sing along whenever they hear it as a way to release their emotions.
Luv Laura