I feel like somethings going to happen!

[bellabessnjet]

This may sound strange but I'm hoping someone can help me.
last few days little things have been happening, not all bad, not all great, just things like son having a big temper (autistic) and being very cheeeky, stuff going missing but then turning up in unusual places, an old important riend of my husbands wants to get back in touch after 20+ years, my friend always wanting to be in touch with me ALL day, I know these individually are all insignificant but I now feel like something else is going to happen. I really do feel worried about it, like a sixth sense of a big change. This probably doesn't make sense but any advice is greatfully recieved, no-one close to me can understand so I cant talk to anyone about how I feel (plus it sounds weird to me too!)

[meg86]

Hello!!

I am very familar with what you are talking about "the feeling of doom!!" trust me when i say this is just anxiety!! I convinced myself for 2 years something terrible was going to happen and it didnt! i went on lots of websites that told me that anxiety makes you feel this way, but i thought no! i can feel it in my gut! anxiety is tricky because with it you cant always trust your gut instinct! it makes everything confusing!

I to got in a bad habit of taking note of everything and thinking it meant something, for example a old friend got in touch with me or my friends where contacting me more than usual i thought that they knew instinctively that something bad was going to happen to me! I saw 1 magpie 8 days in a row and i thought omg its a sign!!!! ( 1 for sorrow bad luck!) I got myself in such a state!! and took every event that happened in my life as something that resembled my death or a tragic event!

I spoke about this in my CBT and she called it " magical thinking" and she said its very common to think like this with anxiety and i was taught the tools to think of these things from a logical perspective and it helped so much!

Have you considered CBT? rest assured its not a 6th sense purely anxiety confusing your mind xxx

[KK77]

Go with it Bella ... Change is a good thing - don't be afraid! I sometimes get very strong premonitions about situations and people. It's not crazy at all.

And sometimes these changes can be a little scary and traumatic but I think that they can also be blessings in disguise.

However, I hope that your premonitions are good ones...

[meg86]

Ahh i see my post was a little presumptuous i do tend to be like that !! You didnt say that the change you felt was coming was bad just that it worried you. Sorry!! still hope you found something useful from my reply xxx

I used to believe that to Melencholia, but having anxiety changed that for me, i couldnt trust my instincs or my gut anymore, i read a article about this not long ago called how to outsmart your instincts it was interesting!!

How many of us on here believe that we had a certain desease or that something bad was going to happen soon and it didnt? i think pretty much all of us!

My gut instinct told me i had cancer, breast cancer, brain tumour, a plane crash none happened so i questioned how reliable it was, and it wasnt anymore xxx

[Bill]

It's funny but I've often wondered if alot of our superstitions and old wives tales were created by fear and anxiety.

For instance, about magpies, 13th, things happening in 3's, salt etc etc. Maybe a bloke woke up on the 13th one day years ago, had a bad day and convinced everyone else the 13th was unlucky because that one day made the bloke fear the 13th every time! My mother is convinced the no. 13 is lucky for her so it holds no fear.

I also think that maybe it's about our feeling of needing to be in control of everything in our lives. We don't like change or uncertainty because they unsettle our security. They undermine our feelings of being in control.

This is why I think change causes these anxious thoughts because we feel we're losing control because we like to stay on our safe path but change forces us off it.

Our safe path makes us rigid and tense because we feel too frightened to come off it but change forces us away from it until we feel things have settled again. I also think that when we're feeling under alot of stress it makes us want to "hold tight" which also creates alot of tension so that any changes will trigger this tension into making us feel very anxious.

I find sometimes when things are beyond our control, we just have to "let go" and things will then settle on their own.

[bellabessnjet]

Thank you all for replying, I don't feel so strange now knowing I'm not the only one! Thank you meg I know exactly what you mean, although not too superstitious in fact the opposite I pick the ones that worry me to worry about. I am having CBT at the moment and I'm beginning to think I'm trying to go too fast, will have a word next time. I've a phobia about ants and he suggested an ant farm in my house YUK!!!!!
Melancholia, yes maybe i've just got to let these premonitions happen, just want to know what they are lol! I think thats the prob, I dont know what I thinks going to happen just that I feel something is !! Hope its good (doubt it knowing my luck!!)
Thanks Bill, funny thing is I was born on Friday 13th and I too do the opposite woth some superstitions, I go out my way to walk under ladders, love it when my birthday is on Friday and other silly things, I think you hit a point about control and lack of it, I never new how much I control things, and need to control things. I think its due to my son and hubby being autistic and nearly everything being planned out. I'm sure i wasnt like tis 10 years ago!! Oh well lets see what happens, funny thing tonight 1 of my hubbys friends has just come round with the news hes split from his wife, complete shock but not unexpected!! Oh well lets hope its because I'm going to win the lottery this weekend LOL!!

[meg86]

CBT is such a breath of fresh air!!! i didnt really grasp the concept until the last few sessions, my advice is do the homework they give you and just give it a try! i was so surpised by the results .

Bill your reply was excellent (as per usual!) i have been thinking about this alot lately as in my life i have always needed to feel that i was in control of it, i need to know everything and i detest change!! the last 6 months have been a turning point for me, i am doing things out of my safety zone and feel better for it! living this way has made my presumptuous with people to, something i have noticed the past few days, i need to know how my friends people around me feel and have a habit of telling them how they feel, i am glad i have realised it so i can move on from it and stop! Today i was on the train and my mind was rattling and i thought " you cant change what has happened in the past, you dont know about the future and its ok! worrying about something you have no control over is pointless!" i felt like a huge weight lifted off me that i could just get on with my day. I think alot of anxiety sufferers feel like they need control but let go and see what happens xx

[bellabessnjet]

Thanks Meg, I thought I was doing well with the CBT till these last 2 weeks, glad to hear that its helped you though. I'll stick with it because I want to really beat this thing, and I hate being like this. Sometimes when my therapist is talking to me, I feel like he cant get through to my brain. I understand what hes saying but the feeling side of me struggles to believe it. Oh well all i can do is try.
Angela

[Bill]

Angela

I often think of CBT like healing a wound. You have to get all the poison that hurts out first before it can start the healing process and then suddenly without often you realising it, you realise how much you've moved forward because the process is often very gradual. The main thing I think is not to be impatient and be kind to yourself because when we grow impatient we get frustrated which can hamper our progress.

Meg

" you cant change what has happened in the past, you dont know about the future and its ok! worrying about something you have no control over is pointless!"

I'm Really pleased to hear you're doing so well! Saying the above sounds easy doesn't it when I know how much effort it must have taken you to be able to put it into practise.

I find myself dwelling on past bad events at times and I have to snap myself out of it to get back to thinking about today and not worry about tomorrow even if at times it does scare me.

Hopefully you'll go from strength to strength now! It's lovely to hear you feeling so happy!

[jude uk]

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is a mystery
and we have is today