I'm not really sure I expect any answers to this but it is something that is bugging me more now than ever. I have suffered from pure O OCD for around 2 years now and am well on my way to overcoming the intrusive and disturbing thoughts that cause me so much anxiety although I do still have some blips.

However, I have recently met a guy (after a few months of being single following getting hurt by someone I really shouldn't have let hurt me) and have found myself starting to obsess about the fact that maybe I don't feel the way I think I feel (even though when we're together we have a great time and have so much in common) and that I'm going to end up hurting him. I don't seem to be able to just let go and have fun and maybe risk falling in love (does that even happen anymore), there's always something in the back of my mind saying to him 'don't get too close to me because I'll hurt you'.

This has happened before in a previous relationship, that relationship started too fast and fizzled out a month later because I couldn't cope, the whole thing made me stressed, which restarted my OCD and I really don't want this to happen again. This guy is great, understanding, caring, funny, cute, lovely, everything a girl could want and I met him through a close friend so if I did do anything bad I'd probably lose her friendship as well. I've got a stressful time for the next couple of weeks with university work due in and don't want to let this stress get transferred to my relationship and don't want to lose this guy through pushing him away. I'm so conscious of the hurt I caused in the last relationship and don't want it to happen again.

Anyway, it's been quite calming just to type this out and sort it in my own head! I know what I need to do is chill out. New Year, new start, no more getting stressed! Yeah right!

'All I want is to be normally insane' Marlon Brando