What's wrong with me?

[creative.souls]

Hello everyone,

I haven't been on this site for a good while now. I used to suffer from quite a bit of anxiety & panic - mainly health anxiety. I managed to get pretty much fully over it with the help of CBT.

Now, after nearly two years of feeling better I'm in bits. I don't even know what I am feeling.

I gave up cigarettes about 6 months ago which made me feel very down, even border-line depressed...but I kept the weird thoughts and low mood at bay by blaming the lack of cigarettes & thus logically explaining it away.

I can't really explain how I feel right now...all I know is that I feel anxious...very anxious. I don't know what about though. I feel very spaced out and have done for the past 2 days. It's as if everything that made sense before does not make sense anymore. I'm trying to figure out what I'm thinking about and what I feel emotionally. I've lost my appetite.

I'm trying to remember what exactly occured & how this got so bad in the last two days but I can't - I can't seem to get my thoughts in order...and it's starting to make me feel very anxious and panicky again.

I thought I could deal with anything that life throws at me after I got over my health anxiety. None of my tactics that I used in dealing with my health anxiety work with this because I'm not able to rationally explain things away. I can't get my head straight.

Distraction doesn't really work either - it prevents my anxiety from peaking into panic but that is it. Throughout the day I get moments - just moments - of clarity where I feel calm & think everything is normal again. Maybe one or two ten-second periods per hour. That's what keeps me from freaking out altogether.

I've made an appointment with my GP for Monday but I need some advice for the meantime. Please. Anyone else feel this way?

Thanks, Thomas (23)

[lilplus1]

hi thomas,im lil and i sryggle with anxiety issues, im the same age as u!!!!!!
basically i dont really know what advice to give u except to tell u that i feel like this sometimes!!!!! i have weeks, even months where i am anxiety free, and then all of a sudden it hits me and im back to square 1!!!! sometimes there is a reason to panic, but other times i just wake up with a feeling i just cant explain!!!!! and this "feeling" builds throughout the day!!!! it can become so strong that i cant even think, its a chore to even get dressed because i physically cannot think to carry out tasks!!!!! my only solution has been posting on here, quite often rambling- lol, and reading through others posts!!!!!! well done for booking a doc app, u just need to get through till monday, so keep posting on here. i often find to cope that i count away the hours. so say i looked at the clock at 10 then look again at 11 i would think well thats a whole hour, an hour thats gone, making me closer to getting away from this feeling!!!!! sounds silly but really helps me!!!!!
sorry if im not much help, just thought i would show my support!!!!!
take care, good luck monday- let us know how it goes,
all the best

[andrea thompson]

hiya hon

could it be that since you packed in the ciggies you have soldiered on and on and kept yourself just ticking over and now maybe all that pressure has built up and hit you all in one go! the reason i say this is that i have been depressed and patched myself up and went back to work. now i managed to just hold everything together at work and home until i got a cold and completely crashed. got all the old symptoms back - i have now been off work for a month trying to beat this. i told the dr how i was feeling and he said maybe i fealt i was coping but maybe really i was just struggling and putting on a brave face - this makes perfect sense to me!!!

i have upped my citalopram ( well dr has) and i am just trying to get plenty rest and not take on too much stress. (easier said than done eh!).

see what the dr says - you will be fine hon - sounds like anxiety - it is anxiety - you will be fine - just give it time.

i hope this helps.

take care

andrea x x

[creative.souls]

Thank you so much for your reply Lil, it's good to know that one is not alone!

Thanks for your reply also Andrea:

I think you may well be right. A lot has happened in the last, say, 6 months that have made my life difficult and I should have sought help sooner. I'm not going to go into every minute detail in this post here but I have piled things up quite highly. I haven't had any parental guidance ever since the age of 14 and I'm starting to doubt everything I have learned over the years etc.

I don't really want to get through it by using meds because I think that the side-effects may send me into stupor (lol) - hell, I can't even take a bit of Valium without freaking out.

The best way to describe how I feel right now is probably this: After a few too many drinks when one is rather drunk...that moment of realisation in the bathroom when one is alone. Only when one is drunk that thought is quickly forgotten and one is on the dance-floor being care-free again in no-time.

Thank you for your post, it is most appreciated.

[lilplus1]

good luck 2moro!!!!!! let us know how it goes!!!!!
loved the description aout being drunk in the toilet!!!! going to quote that some day xxxx

[cymraig_chris]

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