Hi,

I'm really looking for a bit of reassurance :-)
I have suffered with health anxiety since I was a very little girl. One of my main fears concerned breast cancer (this maybe due to my Mother finding a couple of lumps in her breast, fortunately both were benign and removed without issue)
I gave birth to my second baby in august of last year. I never really breastfed, but expressed for about a month.
whilst lying in bed on Wed night I felt the fizzing sensation in my breasts you get when your milk is coming in - thought it was odd but didn't really dwell on it.
On waking Thursday morning I noticed that my right nipple was really quite sore and tender, similar to when you get a period. I didn't worry too much, but it was at the back of my mind all day. On going to bed I removed my bra and noticed discharge from my left nipple...it appeared to be milk. I squeezed the sore nipple and some 'milk' came out of there too. I then noticed a lump directly behind my right nipple. Very regular in shape, quite tender, oval in shape. To put it unpolitely, I shit myself, its been years since I was plunged into such unbridled terror. I just managed to stop myself having a panic attack which I used to sufffer with regulary.
I called NHS direct right away and was put thorugh to a lovely nurse who worked on a breast cancer ward. She gave me lots of reassurance and told me to get an appointment with my G.P to be safe.
I went this morningm and my G.P has found 3 'fatty lumps' in my right breast, and believes the mass behind my nipple to be a cyst. the discharge she suspects could be something with a HUGE name which is not a cause for concern but she is confirming it with blood tests.
My G.P was lovely, and said she would be very honest with me. She said she thought it was very, very, very unlikely that I had cancer. She said 'fatty lumps' are normal and do not turn cancerous, and the cyst should be fine too. BUT, she was going to send me for a scan anyway to put my mind at rest and to get a baseline reading for my breast in case I noticed changes years down the line. She put me on to rapid access due to my OCD but not because she was concerned about the lumpage :-)
So all good news.....however, I am in a complete panic and convinced I am going to die leaving my 2 little boys and husband behind. I am paying £150 for a private ultrasound on Monday, as otherwise I would have to wait 2 weeks, which would be a period of sheer living hell for every second of the day. I am so, so, so, so scared and can hardly function normally. Every time I look at my little boys I see them alone with my husband and am almost frightened to touch them...if I stay away they will miss me less when I am gone etc. I know I must sound like a complete nutbag and a lunatic, but just want people points of view. My rational head says it ok with the worst case scenerio being a cyst drain (not nice, but anything less than death I can handle) I feel like my 'bleak side' has got an upper hand as we've had so much ill health in the family of late. Nothing major, but chest infections, ear infections, tonsillitus, I was housebaound during the last partof 2009 due to an acute slipped disc, plus I had a panic as my periods went a bit crazy and thought I had uterine/cervical cancer. I feel so worn down and vunerable and scared.
I know this is a long post but please reply, thank you all so much for your time and blessed be. X