Hello.
I've been having some cbt for a while now and it's helping me out to understand the root of my problems and how to change.
I'm writing this because I'm feeling pretty low at the moment and I guess I just want to vent and maybe let off a bit of steam.
I've been having this weird feeling like everything is going to be taken away from me. It's so hard to explain, but I've been getting really scared, and I know it's irrational. It's as if I think I'm going to wake up in an empty room one day, and the phone line is going to be cut off, and slowly, everything will go until all is left is a void.
Another strange aspect of all this is that I'm having to think about everything too much as I'm doing it. I used to get this as a child, suddenly becoming very aware of my body and having to think about how to walk.
Thankfully, things have not got to that stage but I am conscious of things that should just be happening naturally. I guess related to that, I'm still going through periods where I don't know what I should be doing. It's frustrating when I try to articulate this and people say 'well, we all get bored' or something similiar; it just underlines the fact that I'm unable to explain what's up.
It's like if you can imagine all the things that make up your life, from the mundane such as doing the washing, to seeing friends, to cleaning, organising, buying clothes, whatever - I sometimes see them all as just this great big list and don't know in what order to do them, and get very anxious.
I know none of that made any sense
Ah well, thanks for listening anyway
"I forget, which one of us doesn’t like fish?"
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