Hi to all my new friends!!
Hi
I am a new member. My name is Julia and I am 33 years old. I have suffered with panic attacks since 1998 but for different reasons. Whilst I was doing my nurse training back in 1998 I started feeling these overwhelming feelings of depression and sadness. Looking back I think it was been constantly surrounded by death. I had my first panic attack on a Thursday night back in April 1998. I had been worrying at the time I might be pregnant. One night I was sat on my bed and I started getting the feeling I was having a heart attack. I had never experienced the feeling before. I remembered feeling absolutely terrified. I went downstairs and asked my Mum to call an ambulance as I believed I was having a heart attack, which she did. Anyway they realised I was having a panic attack and did an ECG on me which discovered I had an heart mummurh. They gave me info on how to deal with a panic attack but that was it. I went on suffering for another couple of years. I developed an obsession that I was dying and meant many a sleepless night thinking about it. My life was hell. After a pill check I broke down on the nurse and she recognised straight away I was suffering from severe depression and I saw a GP then and there. She prescribed me medication and emergency counselling. I felt much better within weeks and continued to do well with my nursing and sickness days were reducing. A year later I was taken off my medication and within a few months I was back to square one. Back on the tablets and then back to counselling. I remember at the time I was obsessed with HIV as I had a colourful past and this became a new obsession. To move on a few years I met a new partner and felt alive. I had left nursing behind and my old life. For once I felt 18 again. After 2 years together we had a son but during the cause of the birth I became gravely ill and nearly passed away which had a traumatic effect on me. I started suffering from obsessive thoughts that my husband was having an affair and that he preferred anyone to me. I was diagnosed with post natal depression and but back on Citalpram. After a week of the medication, my mum and I went over the Humber Bridge to Beverly for a day out with my 3 month old son. After 10 seconds of driving on the bridge I had a massive panic attack that I was going to drive straight over the edge. This was the beginning. At first I believed it was just that bridge but it then became worse I could not drive anywhere that involved water or bridges. I use to be such a confident driver and drive anywhere not now. I have massive panic attacks anywhere outside of my hometown. I would like to add that I do like a drink at night and believe that has a massive effect on my overall well being which I am looking to change. I hope I have not bored you but wanted to give an overall picture of my life.
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Paige x
