Joke

[martbarr]

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife..
'They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a £20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'

[oneofus]

Martin,

You're a tad late, just sen my counsellor. And my wife's just reading it ..... need to run .....ouch ouch stop it.

oneofus

[martbarr]

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?'

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'
Little Tony said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma,it isn't called sexual intercourse.

It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy 's mum wants to talk to you.'

[oneofus]

Little boy sees Granny reading her bible.

Little Boy: "Mummy why's granny always reading her bible?"

Mummy: "She's preparing for her finals"

A little while after church

Little Boy: "Mummy why's the vicar always reading his bible?"

Mummy: "Resits!"

one of us

[LucyR]

Oneofus these are quite funny arent they

[alias_kev]

I heard this on a completely different forum and it was presented as actually happening in real life.... I pretty much hope it was.

This guy takes his young grandson to the shopping mall (they're Americans) and they end up losing one another. The youngster is spotted by one of the security guards who goes up and asks if he's all right. He says he does not know where his Grandpa is. The guard asks what his grandpa's name is and he replies "Grandpa!". So the guard asks "Well then, what's he like?". The kid thinks hard for a short while and then says "Jack Daniels and women with big tits."

Out of the mouths of babes, as they say...

[suzy-sue]

What are you lot like .....Sue x

[alias_kev]

We aim to amuse (I think).

[oneofus]

Sue,

We're anxious to be taken seriously as comics but everyone just laughs at us.

one of us

[northwales]

Man walks into a book shop and asks the guy behind the counter, "Do you have that book about men with small penises?"

The book seller replies "We haven't got it in yet"

Man says "Yeh that's the one"